tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-128129632024-03-14T15:02:24.723+00:00KookosityFeatures a myriad of tangential flummery dished up in the guise of computer technology tutorials, tips, FAQs and articles. Thrown into the mix for good measure is a selection of random, waffle-laden musings, web site plugs and other miscellany.dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.comBlogger753125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-12298807519392350722021-11-16T18:48:00.001+00:002021-11-16T19:08:11.578+00:00Ocean Software's child abuse escape simulator for the Super Nintendo<!DOCTYPE html>
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<p>If you'd prefer to watch the video version instead, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U76l8xT2W-E">ta
da!</a></p>
<p>Radio Flyer, the 1992 movie, not the kid's little red pull-along wagon
that's apparently iconic in America and can neither fly nor broadcast
radio waves, revolves around the harrowing plight of two young brothers'
naive attempts to escape an abusive homestead reigned over by a
domineering stepfather. Pompously self-proclaimed, The King, Adam Baldwin
portrays the alcoholic bully otherwise more mundanely known as Jack
Marshall. By virtue of stylistic cinematography choices rather than shoddy
camera work, we rarely get to see the face of this suburban devil
directly. Obscured by crepuscular illumination and irregular filming
angles, he's further demonised as the nemesis of children's worst
nightmares, much like the overbearing housekeeper from classic Tom and
Jerry cartoons.</p>
Bobby, the younger, <em>eight</em>-year-old sibling played by Joseph
Mazello aka Tim from Jurassic Park, is implausibly singled out as the
exclusive <em>human</em> target of the drunken tyrant's vitriol and brutal
assaults. Were it not for the intervention and ingenuity of his far wiser,
more mature <em>ten</em>-year-old brother, Mike, played by future Hobbit,
Elijah Wood, we're led to believe Bobby would be a sitting duck with a
limited shelf-life. That Mike is left alone unmolested - supposedly owing to
being more capable of defending himself - should offer an early clue all is
not as it seems.<br>
<br>
His inverted comma-ed 'Big Plan' is to convert Bobby's Radio Flyer birthday
present into an ultralight aeroplane to be launched from their secret
cliff-top 'wishing spot' piloted by the tortured tyke and animal entourage.
Fuelled by daydreams and, well, <em>actual</em> petrol, he's envisioned to
soar away into a utopian sanctuary nourished by eternal sunsets, liberated
from terror.<br>
<br>
So Tom Hanks informs us anyway. In a mostly unseen narration role, he plays
an adult Mike, relaying the defining events of his troubled childhood to his
own enthralled offspring. Twist-tastically, as alluded to by this
self-professed prevaricator, all this is potentially pure fantasy concocted
by Mike as a self-defence mechanism to protect him from the horrific,
not-so-Hollywood truth; that Bobby's maiden voyage was an inevitable suicide
mission exit strategy.<br>
<br>
Running with Hank's admonition that history is arbitrated by the tale's
teller, reality could alternatively equate to a case of imaginary brother
displacement syndrome. Perhaps Mike was the one really being abused and
Bobby merely a figment of Mike's overactive imagination. By shifting the
focus of his suffering to a third party, then extinguishing him, Mike might
have been able to dissociate himself from his unfathomable situation,
shielding his fragile psyche as only a child knows how.<br>
<br>
If there's anything more unpalatable than child abuse in Hollywoodland, it's
violence against our canine best friends. Guess what? The King also turns on
the kids' German Shepherd, Shane, beating him within an inch of his adorably
loyal life. In the aftermath, Shane lies motionlessly for what seems like an
eternity, the director callously deceiving his audience into assuming he's
dead! Just before our erratically pulsating hearts fracture jaggedly down
the centre, Shane revives and we can breathe once again. Not exactly the
soppy, heartwarming movie of the century, despite taking many of its
Spielbergian cues from ET.<br>
<br>
A strange choice then to base a licensed gaming adaptation upon you might
imagine, yet it almost happened courtesy of prolific pop-culture IP hunters,
Ocean Software. Snarky hindsight gloaters would no doubt sneer at the
apparent logic bypass inherent in the decision-making process. Amongst them
some members of Ocean's <em>own</em> staff.<br>
<br>
In the 'Developer Lookback' article featured in Retro Gamer issue 23, Ocean
artist, Brian Flanagan, expressed his doubts concerning the gaming potential
of its irksome inspiration.<br>
<br>
"We went after some crazy stuff, like Michael Jackson's Thriller for the NES
and there was mention of a U2 bid - neither came to fruition. There was also
Radio Flyer, a licence apparently based around a popular American child's
'pull kart' thing. After reading the script, it turned out the film was
about child abuse! Great gaming material there."<br>
<br>
Then again, Dennis was a slapstick celebration of child on adult abuse.
No-one deemed <em>that</em> inappropriate when Ocean immortalised the
precocious brat's bullying antics in a cute, cartoony platform game a year
later.<br>
<br>
Veteran pixel artist, Simon Butler, wasn't entirely convinced Radio Flyer
made sense as a playable form of light entertainment either.<br>
<br>
"A perfect example of just buying any bloody license and trying to make a
game out of it. It was perfectly obvious that no-one had a clue what the
film was about... but it had Tom Hanks in it... a voice-over part that he
isn't even credited for as he asked for his name to be removed.<br>
<br>
Directed by Richard Donner, the man behind The Goonies and Superman 1 and 2,
so it had to be good... bound to be a game in there somewhere, eh?<br>
<br>
Oh yeah right... if you fancy playing a game based on a film about two small
boys terrorised and subsequently molested by their evil stepfather.
Wonderful."<br>
<br>
Former software development director, Gary Bracey, who was normally
responsible for securing such licensing deals was quick to distance himself
from the ill-fated project. However, was met with tough opposition from a
certain anonymous colleague who shall remain nameless.<br>
<br>
"Unfortunately, I can't take the credit for Radio Flyer - R.M. qualifies for
that particular one. Believe me, it was the cause of many heated arguments
between us as - from my perspective:<br>
<br>
1) The script was no good (licenses were acquired on the strength of the
scripts, as that was pretty much all we had to go by).<br>
<br>
2) The story was about child abuse. A 'challenging' subject for a videogame,
second only to 'Rainman' for innovative game design material.<br>
<br>
Interesting that the pitch from Universal was that it's about a boy who goes
on wonderful adventures via his flying cart! Thinking back, I must have been
the only person to actually have read the script.<br>
<br>
So, no, I'm afraid I can't take the credit for that. You'll have to find
something else to have a go at me about (red rag).<br>
<br>
As an aside, was the game ever actually developed? I genuinely don't
remember..."<br>
<br>
Radio Flyer was always going to be a movie plagued by its controversial,
fundamental nucleus. Nevertheless, how the children affected dealt with
their circumstances would be the key factor in determining how bleakly
pessimistic it transpired to be. Drastic script revisions implemented before
Radio Flyer's final cut landed in a cinema near you, soon, resulted in a
radical shift in tone and appropriateness towards its target audience.<br>
<br>
David Mickey Evans who wrote the first draft screenplay, selling it to
Columbia Pictures for a record-breaking $1.25m, was also initially hired to
<em>direct</em> the movie adaptation. A dream job that rapidly turned sour
upon being axed by producer Michael Douglas owing to his perceived poor
performance and inexperience. He was just 27 years old at the time and had
never taken the lead on a film before. Radio Flyer's original cast
subsequently followed him to the job seeker's queue, the assumption being
that salvation could only be accomplished via a clean slate.<br>
<br>
Veteran director, Richard Donner, was instead drafted in to extricate the
calamitous project, almost doubling its budget to $35m in the process. His
reinterpretation of Evan's earnest coming-of-age fable led to its
imagination-conquering-adversity thesis metamorphosing into a metaphor for
flight-of-fancy, intangible wish fulfilment with no basis in reality. Not <em>even</em>
the rendition of it fabricated by the Wright brothers, nurtured by a steady
diet of comic books and superhero cartoons. That's their genuine surname by
the way, Wright. Subtle, eh.<br>
<br>
Most critically, the finale was transformed into a Rorschach test for the
audience who were left to ponder the intended significance, their own
psychological predilections steering supposition.<br>
<br>
For better or worse, published in 2014, Evans finally lifted the lid on his
seminal, <em>literally</em> uplifting narrative via a novelisation known as
'The King of Pacoima'. Even the retrograde title is more grounded,
notwithstanding mythical elements playing a more substantial role, and the
Radio Flyer wagon remaining a prominent fixture on the book's cover.<br>
<br>
'Robert Radio Flyer, The King of Pacoima' actually began life as a novella,
written in the summer of '89 (hmm, sounds like a follow-up Bryan Adams
song). When 26 publishers ignored the bait, a friend of Evans suggested
adapting it for the silver screen. So the novel of the movie technically
isn't a reverse-engineered, fleshed-out affair as is typically the case
whenever the movie emerges first. Rather a tweaked revision of its
manuscript foundations.<br>
<br>
Judging by preview screenshots sampled from video game magazines, Ocean's
cancelled title would entirely have revolved around flight mechanics,
despite this aspect of the movie only occurring as a late resolution to the
brothers' dilemma. Their officially licensed Super Nintendo tie-in was to be
an overhead perspective, makeshift plane-navigating gambit, loosely
comparable to certain aspects of Pilotwings.<br>
<br>
Unveiled in the developer's 'Ride the Ocean Wave' upcoming lineup brochure,
accompanied by multiple screenshots and captions, and further showcased at
the Winter 1992 CES event, Radio Flyer must have reached a fairly advanced
stage in its production cycle. A consideration clearly not carrying
sufficient sway to grant pardon from beta oblivion. Radio Flyer was
unceremoniously quashed long before its emotionally scarring potential could
be wreaked upon any vulnerable minors falling prey to the same unfortunate
predicament as the movie's protagonists. Would it really have been prudent
to reinforce the misguided belief that children can evade an abusive home
life by embracing fairytale pipedreams?<br>
<br>
Evan's <em>alternative</em> vision was hardly any more judicious with
regards to advising afflicted scapegoats. It makes one wonder how many
distraught, impressionable victims considered emulating Bobby's solution.
Meant literally <em>or</em> metaphorically, young children would likely
take the conclusion at face value, catalysing a barrage of inadvisable
exodus scenarios.<br>
<br>
A more socially responsible script might have made provision for Bobby and
Mike to confide in town Sheriff, John Heard, aka Kevin McCalister's dad from
Home Alone. He <em>did</em> offer to help, after all, suspecting that
something untoward was afoot. Then again, taking the sensible route in
movieland is often anathema to cultivating gripping fiction. <em>Who</em>
was craving a prematurely neat resolution, schmaltzy ending and predictable,
Hallmark grade production? Bobby and Mike eschew the thorny issue by
agreeing to keep stum for fear of rocking the boat at a juncture when their
mum finally appeared to be happy. Plus, The King isn't beating <em>Mary</em>
and she's too off with the fairies to notice that Bobby is hiding a deep,
dark secret.<br>
<br>
I suppose you have to applaud the risk-taking bravado of Donner and co.,
throwing caution to the wind for the sake of delivering a unique,
thought-provoking peregrination of prepubescent emotion. I think. It's
certainly memorable in its recklessness.<br>
<br>
Had the movie unravelled in alignment with its blueprint, Evan's intention
was to expedite a more aspirational, positive tone. One that intimated
children are not defenceless pawns to be manipulated and mauled by
omnipotent, morally bankrupt adults. That they can in fact take charge of
their own destiny, overcoming seemingly unreconcilable trauma, even if it
means resorting to implausible Houdini-style feats. All a smidgen "the
future has yet to be written, make it a good one". Doc Emmett Brown would
certainly approve.<br>
<br>
Attempting to reconcile the contradiction, Evans, in a blog article
addressing the butchered ending of his hijacked movie, elucidates that
unwavering faith in the viability of the Radio Flyer masterplan made the
preposterous possible. As if by magic. It's the miraculous potency of
fledgling imagination and optimism that spares Bobby's life! That and an
unhealthy fixation on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the musical fantasy film
released in 1968, a year before Radio Flyer's plot takes place.<br>
<br>
But nevermind all that mullarkey. In-game, such portentous, overarching
themes appear to have taken a back seat in favour of nuts and bolts arcade
flight simulation. 'Simulation' in the Codemasters sense that is. More
specifically, it would have entailed harvesting a predetermined number of
coins, dice or whatever to progress to the next level. To aid in this
rudimentary pursuit, the plan was to deploy an overlayed mini-radar display,
eradicating any tediously meandering guesswork.<br>
<br>
DIY biplanes don't run on tortoise juice, so whilst navigating various
diverse landscapes including our own California home town, an amusement park
and whimsical dreamland, we'd be compelled by fuel collection, to remain
airborne. Gusts of wind were to further challenge our aviation skills,
blasting Bobby off course whilst attempting to avoid or obliterate obstacles
such as birds, hot air balloons and flying saucers, thereby keeping damage
to a minimum. Crowbarring Mike into the proceedings, he was to serve as an
overseeing adviser, guiding Bobby around an assortment of impediments on
route to his destination. A bit like a Big Brother figure. Hoho.<br>
<br>
I'd be curious to discover what the ultimate goal would have been. Tricky
because in the movie we're led to believe (by a self-confessed yarn-spinner)
that Bobby spends the rest of his life exploring the clouds with only Samson
and Shane for company, with no pragmatic explanation as to how that would
work. A climax verging on supernatural, fusing seamlessly with the
incredulous "seven secret fascinations and abilities" of the pre-teen
childhood belief system introduced earlier.<br>
<br>
To confirm Bobby's survival beyond doubt, the preliminary script wrapped up
with a flash-forward visit to the Smithsonian Institution's National Air and
Space Museum in Washington, D.C. Here an adult Mike and Bobby reunite, Bobby
proudly bedecked in an Air Force uniform alongside the intact, inexplicably
levitating Radio Flyer contraption. To emphasise the prestige of this
groundbreaking invention, it's displayed equitably adjacent to the Wright
Brothers' inaugural flying machine. Had this contrived epilogue been
incorporated, surely it would raise as many questions as it laid to rest.
Could the beleaguered audience possibly interpret the flimsy scene as
anything more tangible than an apparition? More wish-fulfilment? Once you've
cried wolf, <em>everything</em> has fangs!<br>
<br>
All academic pedantry of course since Radio Flyer's corresponding game never
came to fruition... irrespective of being listed for sale by Rochester-based
Chips and Bits in Electronic Gaming Monthly issue 29 priced at $54. Big
bucks for vapourware!<br>
<br>
Given that the success of licensed games is inextricably dependent on the
appeal of their preceding IP, Ocean's jinxed homage may well have been
shunned by the public to the same extent as the movie on which it was to be
based. That earned just $4.6m at the box office, yielding a major loss for
Columbia Pictures and the production companies owned by Michael Douglas,
Richard Donner and his wife, Lauren.<br>
<br>
Excoriated for its ostensible trivialisation of child abuse, critically
speaking, Radio Flyer was a depressing flop, no doubt scuppering cinema
attendance at the time of release. On the contrary, it has since been more
positively received by the general public, who are typically far more
forgiving of its ethically dubious denouement and awkward juxtaposition of
whimsy and gritty realism.<br>
<br>
Whilst the movie is clearly driven by themes of neglect and vicious cruelty
against defenceless children, it was hardly advocating such behaviour and
Ocean had already created games based on more problematic material. RoboCop,
for instance, is an 18-rated gorefest awash with foul language,
blood-thirsty violence and unashamed criminality. Did anyone pause to
consider the suitability of <em>that</em> particular hot property in terms
of gaming translation?<br>
<br>
Fleeing from a malevolent stepparent isn't a <em>terrible</em> premise on
which to construct a video game in any case. Shane or Samson could have been
deployed to dispatch The King in a side-scrolling platform segment. Earning
funds to support the kid's ineffectual, ditzy mother (played by Lorraine
Bracco on-screen) could have been achieved via a mini-game revolving around
the recovery of abandoned golf balls, as in the movie. Any intrusion from
The King could be dealt with via a mail-order anti-monster potion.
Obviously.<br>
<br>
Perchance another stage of this multi-genre romp could have focused on
tackling the neighbourhood bullies who make Mike's life a misery while The
King works on ruining <em>Bobby's</em> peace of mind. And naturally, it
goes without saying that I'm going to say the melancholy, animatronic,
southern-drawled talking bison should have been incorporated in the most
surreal way technically possible. In the novel, Shane too has plenty to say
for himself, so we'd require a strong cast of voice talent to hike the
authenticity factor.<br>
<br>
Regrettably, the game appears to have been dismissed as abruptly as its
celluloid inspiration. Even the '100 Years of America's Little Red Wagon'
commemorative book published in 2018 merely dedicates a single paragraph of
text to the forsaken movie, timidly failing to mention its core motifs out
of fear of being associated with unpleasant subject matter. Whatever deal -
if any - the movie's producers forged with the Radio Flyer company appears
to be a trade secret. It's as though critics and the public alike have
collectively agreed never to broach the topic.<br>
<br>
Following Tom Hank's lead, reshaping history has seemingly
culminated in the Radio Flyer company erasing any unwholesome intricacies of
the movie from its enduring, illustrious legacy. Normality restored, once
again they solely cater to the idealism of carefree, sanitised childhood
joy, emotional and physical abuse having been rendered an anachronism of
'90s cinematic fantasia.
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dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-35475339428662520082021-01-08T11:51:00.002+00:002021-05-12T16:04:38.251+01:00Amigan's obsession with Sonic the Hedgehog<p>Amiga platform gaming's abiding holy grail was to trounce SEGA's
blue-rinsed spiky mascot in the velocity department so we could proudly
stand by our computer system of choice and declare we don't need a naff kiddie console to validate our gaming credentials. There were many plucky
European contenders to Sonic's throne, yet none really captured gamers'
imagination or piggy bank contents to the same extent.<br />
<br />
Nevertheless, is it remotely feasible that one of these wannabe
substitutes runs as fast, or even <em>faster</em>, without necessarily
rivalling Sonic's allegedly unique panache?<br />
<br />
Obviously, the only cast-iron guaranteed way to deduce the truth once and
for all is to place each side by side to compare their locomotive
performance scientifically using a proper formula and measuring tools, and
stuff.<br />
<br />
Methodology then. Despatch all the baddies patrolling a short, flat
segment of terrain and race across it at full pelt, capturing the moment
for analysis. Easier said than done when enemies respawn incessantly and
creative level design aims to eliminate mundane plateaus.<br />
<br />
Calculate the distance travelled in pixels employing a calibrated screen
ruler and divide by the time taken in seconds to traverse the designated
area and we arrive at the velocity in pixels per second. Compare this to
our control figure (Sonic's running speed) and we can establish which
platforming protagonist is the quickest.<br />
<br />
Some of these contestants can ambulate faster still when emerging from a
steep descent or loop, yet that's cheating since they're not accelerating
entirely under their own steam. As such I've discounted these incidences
so as to compare more fairly. Other treacle-treading entrants were
included simply for contrast purposes.<br />
<br />
So without further preambley pretentious waffle, let's acquaint ourselves
with the hyperactive challengers. Those notable for their quick-footed
speedy fastitude and do the maths. Ssssss.</p>
<ul>
<li>Kid Chaos - Magnetic Fields/Ocean</li>
<li>Mr Nutz - Neon/Ocean Software</li>
<li>Oscar - Flair</li>
<li>Quik the Thunder Rabbit - Stywox/Titus</li>
<li>Superfrog - Team 17</li>
<li>Tearaway Thomas - Global Software (DMI)</li>
<li>Wiz 'n' Liz - Lunatic/Psygnosis</li>
<li>Zool - Gremlin</li>
<li>Zool 2 - The Warp Factory/Gremlin</li>
</ul>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-vodMRm0TM">And
there we have it</a>. A definitive answer to the perennial conundrum at
last. Ultimately, what this demonstrates is that I need to get a life and
would benefit from immediate intervention of the mental health variety.<br />
<br />
P.S.</p>
<p>To further cement the point, I went to the trouble of extracting every
reference made to Sonic the Hedgehog in old-school magazine reviews of the
Amiga games under consideration... and then didn't use any of them in the
video because surely no-one wants to read this much text via YouTube. To
save it going to waste...</p>
<h1>Zool</h1>
<p>It is a sort of platformy thing but not, and it is a sort of collect a
lot thingy, but not really. The closest thing it is, is Sonic the Spikey
Haired Git of a Hedgehog, but this knocks the socks off Sonic.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Computing (issue 54, November 1992)</strong><br />
<br />
For an age now the Amiga world has been alight with tales of Gremlin's new
Sonic-beater. Now it's here, can it outgun the blue bomber? We put it to
the test...<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Format (issue 39, October 1992)</strong><br />
<br />
Gremlin finally unleash their hedgehog-challenging ninja ant on a
platform-hungry public. Can it beat the consoles at their own game?<br />
<br />
For the last few months those nauseating little console owners have been
raving about how good their machines are compared to the likes of the
Amiga. You know the sort. They are all the same. Talk about games and all
they can say is 'Sonic is this fast,' or 'I can do this on Mario'. These
sad types who are obviously in need of a holiday in Yugoslavia can brag no
more. The age of the hedgehog is over, the age of the ninja ant is here.</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Power (issue 18, October 1992)</strong><br />
<br />
Tony Dillon checks out Gremlin's self-proclaimed Sonic beater, to see if
it lives up to such claims...<br />
<br />
We have a lot to thank the likes of Nintendo and Sega for. Although we may
never experience Mario or Sonic on the Amiga, they have opened the way for
a stream of highly-playable clones, such as Millennium's RoboCod or
Ocean's The Addams Family. The latest of these console-esque platform
extravaganzas is Zool - The Ninja Of The Nth Dimension, and, as far as I'm
concerned, it's the best of the bunch.</p>
<p>This is where you step in. As everyone must already know, the game is
billed as a 'Sonic The Hedgehog Beater'. Having played both, all I can see
that Zool has in common with Sonic are the huge sprites, its gaudy use of
colour, and its incredible speed.</p>
<p>I can't say it really beats Sonic outright and The Addams Family is
slightly more polished in appearance and control. However, it is
definitely one of the best platform games released on the Amiga, and you'd
be absolutely out of your tree to miss it.<br />
<br />
<strong>CU Amiga (August 1992)</strong><br />
<br />
Well I never - Zool's very fast, dead easy to pick up and totally, totally
addictive. In fact, it has a definite consoley feel to it - one might even
say a certain hedgehoggy feel (if you get my drift). Through Gremlin would
no doubt purport to not caring if Sonic were to end up as roadside pizza,
the two games do have a similar atmosphere and that certain playable
style. In fact, as well as gracing the Amiga and ST, there's a distinct
possibility of Zool eventually appearing on a console near you. You jammy
swine, you.</p>
<p><strong>Zero (issue 35, September 1992)</strong><br />
<br />
Zool - Ninja of the Nth dimension, hedgehog-beater and self-proclaimed
mascot for the Amiga - caused a sensation last year, hitting the charts
big time and staying at number one for a Bryan-Adams-ly long time. At
last, a character to give Amigans someone to champion, and supposedly one
who could beat up both Sonic and Mario in a fight (if any of them actually
existed).</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Power (issue 24, April 1993)</strong></p>
<h1>Zool 2</h1>
<p>This is really the game to make people forget about that damned hedgehog.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Format (issue 55, January 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
Zool has finally sold out. No longer can it be claimed that he is to the
Amiga what Mario and Sonic are to the Toys 'R' Us consoles. That is right,
he is appearing at a Sega and Nintendo console near you know. I do not
know about you, but quite frankly I do not care what Zool chooses do. He
never once said that his relationship with the Amiga was a monogamous one.</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Power (issue 33, January 1994)</strong></p>
<h1>Tearaway Thomas</h1>
<p>As we all know, one of the most impressive things about Sonic is its
speed, and Tearaway Thomas does for the Amiga what Sonic did for the Mega
Drive. This is so scorchingly fast, I hardly thought it possible.</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Power (issue 22, February 1993)</strong><br />
<br />
Easily carrying off the award for worst title of the year is this new
offering from newly-formed Global Software. Tearaway Thomas is being
touted as the fastest-moving game on the Amiga and a potential Sonic
beater, but you'd never guess from the title - it sounds more like a
children's bed time story than a state-of-the-art home computer game.</p>
<p><strong>CU Amiga (January 1993)</strong><br />
<br />
All Amiga programmers want to write a Sonic beater at the moment. Gremlin
managed it with Zool, and now Global Software have gone for a rather
shameless attempt at emulating the hedgehog in blue with Tearaway Thomas;
an unspecified creature from outer space.</p>
<p>To be frank, Thomas wants to be Sonic. He's probably gone to Sonic
classes. You can imagine him as a kid: "Mum! Mum! Can I be Sonic? Please
can I?". "No! Go away and jump about a bit, you little... er... whatever
you are. And stop using that blue paint, you'll poison yourself."<br />
<br />
It's obvious from the packaging that Global Software are a low-budget
outfit, but they've tried hard to come up with a credible Sonic
alternative for the Amiga. It hasn't come off, because a) Zool's so much
better, b) on a standard A500 it's just not fast enough and c) the game's
a bit dull.</p>
<p>For instance, there are no continues. To complete the game, you would to
play all 50 levels right through with just three lives. Not even the most
rabid Sonicophile would have the time or inclination for such a gargantuan
task, let alone Mr Average Punter Who Wants To Play Sonic On His Amiga.</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Format (issue 44, March 1993)</strong></p>
<h1>Kid Chaos</h1>
<p>He can spin and knock everything out of the way and... oh, I can't go on
with this. Kid Chaos is Sonic The Hedgehog - replace the blue spiky thing
with Kirk Brandon from popular Eighties rock combo Spear of Destiny, bring
to the boil and simmer. A recipe for success or half-baked nonsense?</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Format (issue 63, September 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
And yes, it does look like Sonic.<br />
<br />
Does not just half-heartedly mimic Sonic, but manages to capture all the
best bits of it. In places, it is truly uplifting as you get sucked along
pipes and thrown from bumper to bumper.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Power (issue 41, September 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
So Sonic can't be done on the Amiga, eh? Since Sonic appeared on the Mega
Drive it's been the bone of contention for Amiga kids, jeered at in school
playgrounds by smug Mega Drive-owning peers. And seemingly every time an
Amiga is mentioned in a Mega Drive magazine it's described as an 'older
person's machine, with a great line in RPGs and flight sims, but no great
shakes in the platform stakes'.</p>
<p>Kid Chaos, from Lotus creators Magnetic Fields, wields a pretty hefty
club in the direction of these doubters. Technically superior to any other
platform game (Sonic included) Kid combines fast, smooth-scrolling, an
incredible number of parallax layers, and colours and sounds so vibrant it
makes you wonder what the hell the other platform creators have been doing
for the last few years.<br />
<br />
Thankfully, as you've probably gathered by now, the stunning
technicalities don't overshadow the gameplay. It makes no claim to be
original; indeed, it copies (parodies?) many other games like Zool and
Sonic. The Toy Factory, say, could be directly taken from Zool (or any one
of a number of other platform games), while the underground rollercoaster
tubes and 45-degree springs which cannon you into the air are classic
Sonic features.</p>
<p><strong>CU Amiga (issue September 1994)</strong></p>
<h1>Mr Nutz</h1>
<p>It all bears more than a passing resemblance to Sega's Sonic, with the
levels' sweeping curves and the way Nutz turns into a ball of fur when he
speeds up. The map section is reminiscent of Super Mario.</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Format (issue 59, May 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
Schizophrenia is a funny thing. (No it isn't. - Ed) Take Mr Nutz, for
example. (Blimey, that's an uncharacteristically early plunge into
relevance. - Concerned reader)). For one thing, he's not sure himself who
he wants to be. At first, he seems to want to be Sonic The Hedgehog, but
then he changes his mind and reckons he'd be better off as Super Mario.
But then he has another change of heart and goes for Zelda (eponymous star
of several Nintendo RPGs) instead.<br />
<br />
The game is also structured a lot like Super Mario World (look, sorry
about always bringing up this kind of thing, but it's so blatant and
deliberate I wouldn't be doing my job properly if I didn't tell you about
it, okay?), but the actual platform bits are (oh no, not again) the
closest yet that the Amiga's come to cloning Sonic.</p>
<p><strong>Amiga Power (issue 38, June 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
Have Ocean Software come up with their own Amiga Sonic beater? Tony Dillon
isn't so sure.<br />
<br />
<strong>CU Amiga (June 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
This competent platformer is let down by a complete lack of originality
and a very high frustration level. Mr Nutz tries so hard to be Sonic that
it hurts.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Format (issue 59, May 1994)</strong></p>
<h1>Quik the Thunder Rabbit</h1>
<p>Quik: Sob. Okay, okay, so the first of the four worlds looks every such a
lot like the first level of Sonic, even down to there being different ways
through each level. And I do spin a lot, but whereas Sonic does it facing
the direction of travel, I face out of the screen and smile at you, so
that can't count, can it? (Chokes) Can it? And I'll admit that my speed
power-up may look a little like the Sonic's speedy boots, but it wasn't
deliberate, honest. (Blubs.)<br />
<br />
Oh, please don't kill me, I'm just a little fluffy blue rabbit trying to
make an honest living. (Begs.) Have a pity on me.<br />
<br />
DEATH<br />
<br />
Interviewer 3: Okay, well, I suppose I'll give you the good news first.
I've checked your credentials and you're actually not at all bad. I can
see that the hidden nasties that lurk behind foreground scenery are
supposed to be tricky when in fact they just slow you down, but I'll let
that one side.<br />
<br />
The inherent Sonic-ness of your game's frankly a bit naff, but seeing as
you're just another generic platform game, I'll drop that one too. The
long and short of it Mr Quik is that I'm not going to blow you away with
the shotgun.</p>
<p>Quik: Phew<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Power (issue 40, August 1994)</strong></p>
<h1>Superfrog</h1>
<p>It's a cute platformer of the Sonic clone school - lots of fast scrolling
(but stupidly dead-stop obstacles) and coin collecting.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Power (issue 42, October 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
What ensues is one hell of a good platform game. Released at a time when
the rest of the Amiga world was cloning Super Mario Brothers, Superfrog
borrows more from Sonic The Hedgehog than anything else.</p>
<p><strong>CU Amiga (November 1994)</strong><br />
<br />
Oh dear. Here it comes. Oh no! Sorry, I can't stop myself... here I go...
yes, yes, yes.<br />
<br />
Superfrog is (shock, horror) based on Sonic The Hedgehog. There's no
getting away from the fact - you can smell traces of the spikey
speed-merchant all over this latest game from Team 17. And as it turns
out, this is no bad thing, for two very good reasons.<br />
<br />
First, as anyone who owns a console toy will tell you, Sonic The Hedgehog
is a very fine game indeed. It pretty much redefined what platform games
were all about, but so far the bluey blur hasn't appeared on the Amiga.<br />
<br />
But before you all start whingeing that you don't want 'Sonic The Bleedin'
Hedgehog on your Amiga anyway, thank you very much, and that you'd rather
have some real gameplay (something Amiga programmers have proved
themselves to be really good at) as opposed to some half-baked attempts at
recreating some here-today-gone-tomorrow console's fancy custom chips
whizzing through their paces, here comes Good Reason Number Two...<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Format (issue 47, June 1993)</strong></p>
<h1>Oscar</h1>
<p>You can run but you can't hide. And there's no escaping the fact that
cutesy characters sell game platforms. Sega and Nintendo would be nothing
without Sonic or Mario. So it's no surprise Commodore have joined the fray
by bundling Oscar with the A1200.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Format (issue 53, December 1993)</strong><br />
<br />
I'm going to be the Sonic for Amiga, for crying out loud, and all you can
do is go on about some superficial similarities to another Flair game,
damn you!<br />
<br />
The Amiga equivalent of Sonic? Yeah, right.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Power (issue 31, November 1993)</strong><br />
<br />
There are loads of nasties and power-ups which add to the fun and frolics.
In many respects, Oscar has all the classic features of your platformer,
but for one exception - it's better, both in graphics and playability,
than the likes of Mario and Sonic could ever dream of becoming.<br />
<br />
<strong>Amiga Computing (issue 68, Christmas 1993)</strong></p>
<h1>Wiz 'n' Liz</h1>
<p>Sonic watch out! Wiz goes crazy whenever he changes direction in
mid-jump. It's funny but I can't remember my granny ever doing this, well
maybe after a few sherries.<br />
<br />
<strong>CU Amiga (November 1993)</strong></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-79861894882339690162020-11-24T19:21:00.001+00:002020-11-24T19:21:52.601+00:00The rise and demise of a classic adventure game anti-hero<p>Simon the Sorcerer parts 1 and 2 constitute a treasured double act amongst fans of traditional point and click adventure games. 'Upgrading' to the 3D realm for the long-awaited third entry in the series wasn't met with quite the same degree of approval. It was tantamount to wringing the neck of Adventure Soft's prized golden goose and flushing it down the toilet. Then events <i>really</i> took a turn for the worse... nosedived downhill and fell off a sheer-drop cliff face. Allow me to explain. </p><div><a href="https://archive.org/details/simon-the-sorcerer-rise-and-demise-dreamkatcha">download ebook in epub format</a></div>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-24508328330421601922020-11-06T19:57:00.004+00:002020-11-06T19:57:35.065+00:00Why there's a stampeding rhino enemy in Ocean's Hudson Hawk Amiga/Atari ST platform gameUndoubtedly one of life's great unresolved mysteries... until now!<div><br /></div><div>Stompy is present in the two 16-bit games, yet none of the five 8-bit interpretations for the home micros/consoles. FYI precisely zero rhinos feature in the 1991 movie starring Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello and Andie MacDowell. Gosh! How intriguing! Almost makes you want to delve into the article or watch the YouTube video version for a thorough explanation.<div><br /></div><div><a href="https://archive.org/details/hudson-hawk-rhino-enemy-dreamkatcha">download ebook in epub format</a></div></div>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-30314995422668881502020-10-12T19:26:00.000+01:002020-10-12T19:26:25.873+01:00Games for girls <p>Traditionally, video gaming was a hobby principally participated in by young
boys, which from the viewpoint of capitalist-oriented publishers, left a
vast portion of the potential market untapped. In 1984, Case Computer
Simulations sought to remedy this by releasing a series of games aimed
specifically at girls. To eliminate any shred of doubt, they coined it
'Games for Girls', in the process inciting the wrath of many gaming
journalists regardless of their gender. Whether to be politically correct
(even back then!) or because they were genuinely offended, many reviewers
alleged it was supremely sexist to assume certain games would appeal to the
fairer sex due to them being inherently wired differently. Possibly they
even relished the self-perpetuating controversy.</p>
<p>It wasn't that the nature of the games in question was insulting, or
stereotypically derogatory towards girls in any way. On the contrary, in
fact, they emerged from the supposition that girls were less inclined to
be motivated by violent tendencies, preferring to employ logical reasoning
and negotiation techniques to solve problems rather than brute force
bravado. All three titles (two action-adventure games and a show-jumping
'simulator') are driven by intelligence-based quizzes designed to engage
the brain, one distinctively from a mathematical perspective. A field in
which proficiency is typically associated with boys. <em>Positive</em>
discrimination then if any at all; far from the insinuations you might
have imagined given the backlash.</p>
<p>'Games for Girls' was intended to be an ongoing series, yet in light of
its acrimonious reception, terminated at just three titles. All a bit
silly seeing as the games were seemingly released with the best of
intentions and selected for the brand rather than being designed from the
ground up to compliment proposed interests and aptitudes of girls. Had
they been unveiled minus such new-wave headlines, the mediocre games would
likely have flown under the radar with little fanfare, before rapidly
fading into obscurity. Cynics amongst could claim that the whole episode
was a rouse to profit from games so dull they weren't worth the tapes they
were recorded on. And who knows, they might be right? Certainly no-one is
recording playthroughs of them for YouTube, and it's only myself talking
about them. I haven't even offered to identify the titles yet: <a href="https://spectrumcomputing.co.uk/zxsr.php?id=16095">Hicksted</a>,
<a href="https://spectrumcomputing.co.uk/index.php?cat=94&id=9674">Diamond
Quest</a> and <a href="https://spectrumcomputing.co.uk/zxsr.php?id=2659">Jungle
Adventure</a>. There, fixed.</p>
<p>In the ensuing years, rarely has a publisher made similar inflammatory
declarations regarding the envisioned audience of their wares, while today
gender engagement more closely approximates equilibrium. Games for girls
(without the capital letters) are produced, marketed and retailed now by
default, often the epitome of sexism. Far more so than CCS were admonished
for supposedly being back in the '80s. What has changed is that they're
sold without the superfluous gender banner; no-one needs to be informed
that Barbie the computer game, for instance, is aimed at prepubescent
girls, it speaks for itself… and also, I'd imagine, features little in the
way of educational value.</p>
<p>Without the labels, few sane people campaign against the existence of
patently gender-biased computer games today, finally mirroring the general
acceptance of toys that have targeted boys or girls for as long as they've
existed. Had they too been outlawed, Argos and Toys R Us would have been
strung up for segregating their departments or catalogues from day one.
Making it all the more curious that computer games were scrutinised under
an entirely different rubric, as though held responsible for being the
gatekeepers of child-rearing morality.</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-69616125501920628242020-10-12T06:29:00.005+01:002020-10-12T06:34:02.385+01:00Teen reacts to the Amiga 500 <p>I'm not quite sure how old he is actually. He <em>looks</em> like he's
in his late teens - certainly too young to have experienced the Amiga when
it was <em>current</em> anyway, and that's the point.</p>
<p>The title of Ryan Smith's YouTube, hardware tear-down video, 'Why not to
buy an Amiga in 2016', should give you a clue as to his verdict. It's not
even a question... with a question mark. Instead one of those statementy
things. To be fair to the system, he's bought an "untested, sold-as-seen"
bit of vintage tech, and the battered example that arrived hardly does it
justice.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="800" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ut5Pol8NmAg/X4PpoCIWe0I/AAAAAAAAJGs/U_fN5OltSM4znT7kQf1-NnB5xEepeQ2JQCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/battered-a500.jpg" /></div> <p style="text-align: center;"><em>Illustration for the purpose of deceptive
exaggeration only, this isn't the Amiga in question. Yes, I'm a dirty,
rotten scoundrel and was probably a journalist (or politician) in
another life.</em></p>
<p>We interrupt this transmission to inject a dollop of sagaciously cunning
retro hardware-purchasing advice...</p>
<p>I find that eBay sellers who describe retro consoles and computers as
"untested", tend to fall into one of several categories...</p>
<ul>
<li>They regularly sell this type of hardware, have thoroughly tested it
and found it to be completely knackered, but don't want to admit it
because it will inevitably slash the final sale price.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>They honestly don't know what state of functionality it's in because
they haven't got the knowledge or equipment to put it through its paces.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>They know <em>how</em> to check the system, yet don't have the
time or inclination to bother. Some people will genuinely be having a
loft clear-out and just want to get shut of everything ASAP, or are
selling gear on behalf of friends or family so the history of the items
is vague. </li>
</ul>
<p>One way to help you decide if they're on the level is by checking their
sales history, or taking a look at the other items they have on offer to
establish whether they're a dealer or not.</p>
<p>...as you were...</p>
<p>Ryan is a network administrator from Sheffield, and while he's clued up
about computers in general, he's quite misinformed about the limitations
and expandability of the Amiga 500. Also, it's not clear what he'd like to
do with it that aren't possible. How can you tell if a system needs
upgrading at all if you've never even flicked its power button on before?
An unpimped 500 with half a meg of RAM will play hundreds of classic
games, and after all, that's the 'meat and potatoes' of this base model,
to colloquialise the scenario.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, we all make stupid mistakes and he's clearly got the bug
now as he went on to have another dabble with an Amiga 1200, with which he
was evidently much more enamoured.</p>
<p>It's certainly refreshing to see someone wanting to learn about the Amiga
who appreciates its charm, yet has no nostalgic bias towards the platform.
That's rarer than hen's teeth embedded in rocking horse dung... under the
light of a blue moon.</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-76968943497527034192020-10-11T11:43:00.001+01:002020-10-11T11:43:20.678+01:00Kid Reacts to Speedball II for the Amiga <p>Not an official 'Kids React' video, though probably the closest thing
we're likely to see. 14-year-old Brae joins his uncle (at gunpoint by the
looks of it) for a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN2AFY0ayVE">violent
bout of futuristic, cyberpunk sports-brawling</a>. Thumb-screws firmly
in place and tightened, he even expresses some opinions on the game (ish).</p>
<p>Black box health warning: if you suffer from epilepsy or migraine, turn
away now!</p>
<p>No doubt there are other attempts at Miggifying the KR concept out there,
even if they haven't been specifically labelled as such. What have you
stumbled across? Feel free to share them in the comments section below.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6kz41-6IRho/X4Lhm9Z9xYI/AAAAAAAAJGY/Dw4nbznP5YIV9bLnsCwkWBHMb9f-axzRACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/kids-react-old-computers.jpg" /></div>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-41959253112538852182020-10-11T11:35:00.001+01:002020-10-11T11:35:14.960+01:00Meet the official Turrican II joystick <p>Don't be surprised if you've never <a href="http://www.nemmelheim.de/turrican/facts/turricanjoystick.php">seen
one of these</a> before in the wild; they are extremely rare. Not eBay
l@@k l@@k super-mega rare, I mean really-properly rare. They were bundled
with copies of Turrican II for the Amiga and Commodore 64, only ever sold
in Germany from what I can gather. "Double fun" guaranteed!</p>
<p>Regrettably, the joystick itself isn't actually an exclusive product made
for the release. Rather, it's a Commodore-branded model <a href="https://www.nightfallcrew.com/04/01/2018/commodore-joystick-cbm-1399/?lang=eng">CBM
1399</a>, also known as the 'Challenger' in Germany according to the
Amiga Joker magazine in which I saw it featured as part of a joystick
review round-up article.</p>
<p>Made in Hong Kong, it boasts "high precision" and is fully micro-switched
for durability, much like the Competition Pros and Zipsticks the majority
of Amiga gamers favour.</p>
<p>I typed up the German review in Google Translate (and even included the
umlauts and Eszett, which I believe equates to 'ss' in English). While
mostly what it generated is gibberish, I can decipher a few keywords that
make sense. It seems to be suggesting the joystick is challenging by
nature as well as by name since it's a real workout for the nerves, shaft
motion is loose and inaccurate. It has measly (?) fire buttons and
squeegees (I think it means suction cups) and an auto-fire switch.</p>
<p>Germans, feel free to correct me.</p>
<p>The ordinary Commodore-branded version isn't an uncommon sight on eBay.
At the time of writing, there are three listed, all located in Italy,
hiked up to 'buy it now' prices ranging from £15.43 to £38.69.</p>
<p>Typically, unpopular 9-pin joysticks sell for less than a fiver, to put
things in perspective.</p>
<p>On your marks... get set... eBay!</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-84972207069646236572020-10-11T10:36:00.001+01:002020-10-11T10:40:38.973+01:00When Halloween's over, true horror begins...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="800" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MvTUSkMDSuk/X4LRGnJU8NI/AAAAAAAAJF8/DYR2XoazNgkPpf1iWUK-skry7OxD2GtNQCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/pshr.png" /></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1075" data-original-width="800" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zSfgzj_7W_E/X4LRNnPjsSI/AAAAAAAAJGA/wK1O5g_xOvg2r5Bu9KS4C1w_5Ib5Tp0JgCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/freaky-devil-paul.png" /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="484" data-original-width="878" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MsUlW5oms_k/X4LRZOwYQuI/AAAAAAAAJGI/0wsJ6Z49e9UK2YP65bPTU9FSThKBU4GTQCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/hbas.png" /></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://archive.org/details/give-my-regards-to-broad-street-dreamkatcha-review">Oh wait, no need to</a>. <i>Wait</i> that is.</div>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-30468466378489435422020-10-11T10:27:00.001+01:002020-10-11T10:27:15.031+01:00HUDson Baulk <p>Writing my bottom 10 list of games featuring criminally gargantuan HUDs,
I Googled the heck out of the topic and found naff all. My problem was not
knowing the keywords people might use to describe all those ridiculous,
screen real estate hijacking gizmos and wotsits. Had I guessed that
'status panels' might be among them, I would have stumbled across <a href="http://eab.abime.net/showthread.php?t=66150">this
post</a> over on the English Amiga Board and my task would have been a
whole lot easier.</p>
<p>Collectively, the wily EABers (EABtonians?) laid this one to rest years
ago and unearthed some even more extreme examples than I did, if you can
believe that! They even went so far as to calculate the exact measurements
in pixels of the area occupied by the dwarfed playfields, allowing them to
definitively and <i>scientifically</i> state which games 'take the
biscuit' and should be buried at sea, never to be spoken of again. If only
<i>I'd</i> thought of that; they put my geek credentials in the shade. If
Blogger included the 'I'm not worthy, sink to the knees and worship'
smiley, you can be sure it would be inserted here.</p>
<p>After much foraging and boffinesque analysis on their part, the top (or
bottom) three are as follows...</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>3. <a href="http://hol.abime.net/2809">Gunboat</a>
(272x68) - 2. <a href="http://hol.abime.net/561">First Person Pinball</a>
(152x95) - 1. <a href="http://hol.abime.net/4031">Skarbnik</a>
(144x100)</em></p>
<p>Special thanks go to '<a href="http://eab.abime.net/showpost.php?p=843624&postcount=41">discomeat</a>'
for the adjudication and calculations. It's a shame his spreadsheet has
since been lost in 404land.</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-46223193299989787952020-10-11T09:45:00.002+01:002020-10-11T09:45:43.423+01:00Block rockin' beats <p>Copywriters and marketing gurus are hired because they know precisely how
to deliver that killer, witty one-line zinger. The kind that grab you by
the jugular, mercilessly manipulating you into parting with your
hard-earned cash or signing your life away.</p>
<p>So what went wrong here? (see <a href="https://retrocdn.net/File:CVG_UK_152.pdf">C&VG
issue 152</a>, July 1994, page 63)</p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">You beat your
brother.</span>
</p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">You beat your
brother's friends.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">You beat your
cousins.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">And their
friends.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">You beat that one
guy, Steve, who said he couldn't be beat. </span>(sic - beat<em>en</em>
surely?)<span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">And you beat them
all bad.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Are you ready to
beat the world?</span></p>
<p>Possibly you <em>were</em> and <em>did</em> because it's looking a bit
worse for wear these days. A probing question posed by an advert for the
'Blockbuster World Game Championship' circa 1994, should you be confused.
And why <em>wouldn't</em> you be?</p>
<p>If you've ever contemplated getting into the PR field yourself, this
should give you hope that anything is possible.</p>
<p>And anyway, who's "that one guy, Steve", and what makes kicking his
derriere the benchmark for gaming prowess?</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-43400775475202465402020-10-11T08:57:00.001+01:002020-10-11T08:57:29.827+01:001080p composite images of entire Amiga game levels <p>Over at Deviant Art <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/thegouldfish/gallery">TheGouldFish</a>
has been busily creating stunning HD maps of some of the most popular
Amiga game classics.</p>
<p>They're constructed by snagging the backdrops using the map ripping tool,
Maptapper, and stitching them together with multiple in-game screenshots
of the enemies and animated segments to populate the landscapes.</p>
<p>Wow, what an arduous task that must have been! I'm glad he took the
trouble though - the results are beautiful!</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-52851356427265464832020-10-06T19:50:00.001+01:002020-10-06T19:50:14.452+01:00Is game sales chart data worthless? <p>Having compiled a multi-format game sales chart database comprising over
10,000 entries I couldn't help noticing a few anomalies. For instance,
games appearing in the top-selling lists that were never actually finished
or published for the designated system. Judging by the reader's letter and
editor's response below as printed in Zero magazine in the '90s, the
reason could be that the data is entirely fabricated based on educated
guesswork.</p>
<h2 style=" margin-left: 40px;">Zero's Virgins</h2>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Investigative
journo paragraph: in your October 1990 issue (in the shops September
1990) Zero reviewed Wonderland, quoting a release date of October 1990.
In the December issue, in the shops in November, what game had rocketed
into the charts at number 2? You guessed it - Wonderland. It's funny
though because Wonderland wasn't even available in the Virgin Megastore
shop until well into December. It's even more peculiar when you bear in
mind that the chart would have had to get to you well in advance of the
publication date presumably sometime towards the end of October. It
becomes worrying when you remember that Virgin produce both the game and
the chart. Nothing like a free bit of plugging, is there? Even if the
game isn't in existence at the time.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Consumer's
Complaint paragraph: 4-D Boxing was given a release date of November -
it's still not in the shops. Escape From The Planet Of The Robot
Monsters was due out on the PC last May according to Domark. There's no
sign of it ten months later - where is it? Why don't software companies
give realistic release dates?</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Joseph Coulson, Hither Green, London.</strong></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Journalistic
cliche paragraph: information correct at the time of going to press.
Companies tell us their release plans but these can be changed for a
number of reasons (see Brian's letter for anexample).</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">As you point out,
we receive our chart well in advance of publication date. Consequently,
if we printed a sales chart it'd be well out of date by the time the mag
was on sale. Therefore Virgin Megastore compile a Shipping Chart for us
which measures the orders the shop is placing based on past and
anticipated sales. Ed.</span></p>
<p>I spent a while plugging search terms for games known to be unfinished
into my database to see if I could uncover any suspicious entries. Putty
Squad for the Amiga would have to be the most glaringly dodgy example; in
the January 1995 issue of Amiga Power it can be spotted in the CD32 chart
at number 3. This was released for the SNES in 1994, yet not for any of
the Amiga systems until late 2013 thanks to Galahad's dedicated
collaboration with System 3.</p>
<p>Elsewhere, you might like to examine entry number 3 in the Mega Drive
chart published by Computer & Video Games in June 1991. First-person
shoot 'em up, Monster Hunter - intended to be one of the first Mega Drive
games to employ SEGA's Menacer light gun - was originally expected to be
available in time for Christmas 1993, however, failed to materialise.</p>
<p>Being listed in a best-selling games chart over two years earlier,
possibly long before the design was even conceived, seems implausible so I
suspect someone had their wires crossed. But how? Which game were Gallup
referring to? English Amiga Board member, LongLifeA1200, suggested
Japanese import "Mamono (Demon/Monster) Hunter" when I raised the issue
there, reasoning that another import, Gynoug, features at number two.</p>
<p>Shifting down a gear to the Commodore 64, Nigel Mansell's Grand Prix was
never released for the trusty beige bread bin, yet somehow it appears in
the chart at number 20 in the January 1990 issue of C&VG and again at
number 15 the following month. They even offer a review score of 71%,
further confounding the disjointed discombobulation.</p>
<p>None of the versions that <em>were</em> released scored 71% so that's
not the explanation. So what is? Gallup guessed the position at which the
game would appear in the charts while C&VG predicted what score they'd
award assuming the game was at some point finished?<br>
Anything's possible given the number of errors evident in charts printed
by C&VG. Missing platform citations (entire charts left unlabelled,
sometimes three in a single issue making process of elimination
impractical), duplicate entries in the same top 10, vague titles that
could refer to multiple different games e.g. just 'Batman' and so on. It's
difficult to determine how many of these problems emanated from Gallup's
data collection and reporting techniques, or alternatively, which C&VG
were responsible for.</p>
<p>What's crystal clear is that the charts aren't to be trusted
unequivocally and my entire database should be scrutinized with a large
sackful of salt. And yet those not provided by retailers themselves
(Virgin, Woolworths, HMV etc.) are the only independent measure we have
available with which to judge the commercial success of game releases.</p>
<p>Have you spotted any entries that set alarm bells ringing and deserve to
be glared at with squinty-eyed scepticism? Feel free to share them below.</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-64746290873691171132020-10-06T06:30:00.003+01:002020-10-06T06:34:15.685+01:00Don't read this <p>Something that's always baffled me is why people deliberately seek out
movie, game or whatever spoilers and then blame the person responsible for
the inevitable spoiling having revealed key details of the plot or solution.
An all too common occurrence sadly, yet the letter below written to Zero
magazine is in another league. I've never known someone to completely wash
their hands of a product in protest at having ruined the experience for
themselves. Biscuit taken. No crumbs.</p>
<h2 style=" margin-left: 40px;">Angry from Wiltshire</h2>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple">As a reader
of your magazine since the first issue, it's hard for me to believe that
Zero could do such a mean and irresponsible thing. I refer, of course,
to Crystal Tips in the March issue. Long before Horrorsoft went under I
ordered a copy of Elvira, so imagine my surprise to find a complete
solution published over a week before the game was eventually released
on the ST. My order has now been cancelled and, according to my dealer,
so have a lot of others. Everyone makes a big issue out of pirated
games, but this sort of thing does nothing to deter it and helps
software houses to lose money, when a lot of people like myself would
have bought it. I'm in favour of hints and tips after a game has been
around for a while, but feel this was a bit over the top. Accolade has
been informed of my views and I look forward to hearing what they think
about this.</span> </p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>D. Clifford, Swindon, Wiltshire.</strong>
</p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple">Honestly, some
people. As I've said a million times before... "You don't have to look,
do you?" Have you no willpower? When you were five and something scary
happened on Doctor Who, did you sit there and take it all in? No, of
course you didn't, you hid behind the sofa and came out when it was
finished! So do the same with cheats - pretend they're not there. And if
you really don't think you can stop yourself peeking, you can always rip
out the offending pages and burn them. (And then send in for a back
issue once you <em>do</em> get stuck). Ed.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Zero issue 20 (June 1991)</strong></p>
<p>D. Clifford is the sole reason we have to endure so many pointless
spoiler warnings prior to engaging with written, audio or video
presentations of games, TV shows, novels, plays, movies and so on. It's
also your fault plenty of people attempt to review media without touching
upon any spoilers at all for fear of offending some delicate flower who
can't grasp the concept of ex post facto analysis. Surely a review without
spoilers is a trailer? We already have a word for that and it's <em>not</em>
review, it's trailer.</p>
<p>And what's piracy got to do with publishing gaming hints and tips? Elvira
is less worthy of a genuine, real-money purchase because a guide for it
exists? May as well get the dodgy copy then and save a few quid.
Horrorsoft brought it on themselves after all by not casting a hex upon
Zero to prevent them from discussing the game outside of their review. </p>
<p>If you sneaked a peek at this post prior to thoroughly digesting your
June 1991 copy of Zero and it's diminished your enjoyment of said
publication in any way, I'm not remotely sorry. You were forewarned. Ah,
oh, umm…</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-68096016207278684792020-10-06T00:24:00.001+01:002020-10-06T00:24:24.172+01:00I'm afraid of no toast<p>If you don't currently suffer from any irrational fears, you may well develop some new entirely logical ones after playing Tony Crowther's Phobia, a uniquely stylised, claustrophobic headmasher of a shmup that will pilfer your precious sleep and haunt your waking dreams. Psychotherapy not included!</p><p><a href="https://archive.org/details/phobia-dreamkatcha-review">download ebook in epub format</a></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-58298513411991831162020-10-05T21:39:00.002+01:002020-10-05T21:39:41.669+01:00Every Slimer has his day<p>Of course you've always wanted to be a vile, mucous-dribbling slug entrusted with rearing a brood of mini-mes. Crawl the walls, trap grubs in bubbles and feed them to your clan to keep them nourished, exuding a basking glow of green-blooded vitality. You win, you've got the job, congratulations. I've already switched your name to Steg the Slug and informed the social security office.</p><p><a href="https://archive.org/details/steg-the-slug-dreamkatcha-review">download ebook in epub format</a></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-71747149714958005072020-10-05T20:03:00.001+01:002020-10-05T20:03:56.728+01:00There's no going back<p>If you're a firm believer in the old axiom of pooch as man's best friend and all copies of Sleepwalker, Fire and Ice and Scooby and Scrappy-Doo are completely sold out with no hope of a second dispatch, Doofus may well be the Amiga platform game for you. Protagonist Tim's pet - the eponymous Doofus - is utterly useless and the game, in general, doesn't fare much better. It's bland, uneventful, unoriginal and virtually plotless. Still, erm... check out my fantastic review! It'll make you look at half-decent platformers with a fresh, reinvigorated appreciation.</p><p><a href="https://archive.org/details/doofus-dreamkatcha-review">download ebook in epub format</a></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-51707724508434362442020-10-04T10:52:00.000+01:002020-10-04T10:52:19.257+01:00Transformers - Amiga games in disguise<p>Meet Thexder, a jet-fighter-mecha-morphing robot from the land of the rising sun, available for every known platform under it. It's one of the earliest run 'n' gun platformers, hence the primitive graphics and sound. Look beyond this and a deviously clever, rapid-fire action experience awaits. One that inspired many better-known, much-revered examples from the genre such as Turrican, Metal Slug and Contra.</p><p><a href="https://archive.org/details/thexder-dreamkatcha-review">download ebook in epub format</a></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-40591131773839628522020-10-03T08:13:00.001+01:002020-10-03T08:13:28.387+01:00Remember the time when Saddam Hussein wrote in to Amiga Action magazine seeking flight sim advice? <div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<h2>Madman</h2>
<p><span style="color: purple;">I am having some trouble with the
68000-based F-18A laser targeting and bomb guidance system currently
being used in the Persian Gulf. As I know you are all incredibly
computer-knowledgeable on Amiga Action, I have decided to write to you
for help. Peace.</span></p>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<p><strong>S. Hussein, Baghdad</strong></p>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<p><span style="color: purple;">What you need to do is gain control of
your airspace again and use a phased-array wide spectrum laser jammer
as a backup defence. You'll be able to find one at the March 19th Arms
Fair in Syria, stall 13, for approximately £150,000,000.
Alternatively, use a mirror.</span></p>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<h2>Saddam writes…</h2>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<p><span style="color: purple;">Thanks for the advice on the Wide Spectrum
Laser Jammer you recommended I buy in the last issue. The ruddy thing
didn't work, did it, and the insurance won't cover it. I won't be
reading your magazine again.</span></p>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<p><strong>S. Hussein, Peking.</strong></p>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<p><span style="color: purple;">Sorry about that. I've been in touch with
our contact in Damascus and he's promised a full refund. Trouble is,
he's having difficulty in contacting you. Ah well…</span></p>
</div>
<p>Well, <em>I</em> thought it was worth revisiting. I wonder what happened
to Mr Hussein. He was all over the press at one time, then all of a
sudden, nothing. Very odd.</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-24236660096989178402020-10-03T07:26:00.002+01:002020-10-03T07:28:08.591+01:00PD: public domain or pure drivel? <p>Back in the '90s we had legitimately free software as we do now, only it
was known as 'public domain' because the authors permitted modification
and distribution of their work as long as it was carried out on a
not-for-profit basis. As there was a tendency for PD software to emerge
from the brains and bedrooms of single, amateur coders, diplomatically
speaking, it was assumed by many to be inferior to retail software. Others
- who often couldn't afford the latter - considered it a computing
lifeline. A virtuous and legal way to obtain free games and utilities.
Analogously, this debate played out in the letters pages of computer
magazines. Amiga Action for instance…</p>
<h2 style="margin-left: 40px;">PD or not to be</h2>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">I have always
read your letters page with great interest and your replies are usually
very honest, bringing up important issues. However, a letter I read
recently disgusted me. How on Earth could you say that all PD games are
crap? You obviously haven't played stuff like Drip, Quick and Silver,
Zeus and Obliteration. Those and many others are a lot better than many
full price titles. Besides, I cannot afford to spend £25 or even £8
every time I want a new game. Without PD games I would be driven to
piracy and that's the last thing I want.</span> </p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Johann Hari, Edgware</strong> </p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">I certainly don't
recall such comments and neither does anybody else. We may have put down
a few individual titles, but our opinion on many PD games is just as
high as that of anyone else. In fact, if the demand is big enough, we
hope to put a few more PD titles on our coverdisks in the coming months.
Your thoughts on this matter would be greatly appreciated.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Amiga Action (August 1992)</strong> </p>
<p>Hmm, not in so many words perhaps, but you sort of <em>did</em> deride
the entire creative genre in a response to another reader's letter on the
same subject.<span style="color: purple;"> </span></p>
<h2 style="margin-left: 40px;">Get on your bike</h2>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Being on the
dole, I find it hard to keep up with increasing game prices. Therefore.
I've often relied on Public Domain Software. I used to consult your PD
guide, but it's now disappeared. Do you intend to bring back this
feature or should I look elsewhere for such reviews?</span> </p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Alan Stevens, Birkenhead</strong> </p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">The quality of PD
isn't very high, so we've decided to concentrate on budget titles
instead: an area of the market which is expanding rapidly. We will,
however, be covering PD software from time to time. </span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;"> Send your
letters to: Peter Lee, Talkback, Amiga Action, Europress Interactive
Ltd., Europa House, Adlington Park, Adlington, Macclesfield, SK10 4NP.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Amiga Action (May 1992)</strong></p>
<p>As with most polemic stances, the truth tends to lie somewhere in the
middle. PD software is awful, mediocre, good or fantastic dependant on the
particular specimen under scrutiny and the authors involved. This applies
equally to retail software, except - given the price tag - it carries a
harsher sting in the tail should you find that it's not fit for purpose.</p>
<p>What's your opinion? Did PD software deserve its coverage in mainstream
computer magazines? Which titles posed a threat to the major high street
name publishers?</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-50856858615368330322020-10-02T20:26:00.005+01:002020-10-03T07:30:37.359+01:00Walking alone? Never! <p>I can't decide if G Bucknell should be awarded the Amiga Action
letter-writing Muppet of the year award, or if he/she had ingeniously
managed to hudwink the recipient into believing they're completely
backwards just for a lark. Either way, I had to share this tasty morsel of
nostalgic nonsense from the long lost world of dead tree publishing.</p>
<h2 style="margin-left: 40px;">Liver-fool</h2>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">I am writing to
complain about last month's Liverpool coverdisk which I found
desperately disappointing. The computer opposition were terrible and I
beat them on every occasion I played the game. After playing this demo
for a couple of hours, I cannot see myself purchasing the finished
product.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>G Buckell, Harley</strong></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">You complete and
utter fool. If you'd taken the time to read our informative coverdisk
pages, you might have discovered that the Liverpool demo is for two
players only. You've been playing absolutely nobody so no wonder you
kept winning.</span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong>Amiga Action (August 1992)</strong> </p>
<p>Although Amiga Action rated Liverpool the most favourably of the UK-based
magazines (45 - 81%), it's far from the most accomplished football
simulator for the Amiga, so the writer would have been wise to invest in
something else. Such as the legendary Sensible Soccer or one of the Kick
Off series.</p>
<p>According to Grandslam's Paul Chamberlain, Liverpool "is the first game
of the type where you can properly do an overhead bicycle-kick volley"
(Amiga Power, June 92, page 62). So, that's a jolly cool claim to fame if
accurate. If not, blame him, not me.</p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-41987124435839665572020-10-02T20:11:00.002+01:002020-10-02T20:11:50.036+01:00Big Bang games development <p>Reading through the letters pages of C&VG I stumbled across an
interesting perspective on the development of video games as expounded by
an unashamed pirate attempting to justify the money-saving rouse.</p>
<p>Thomas compares the cost of a pirated disk to that of a legitimate retail
package and questions why the gap should be so wide given that the only
difference is a properly printed disk, cardboard box and a manual.</p>
<p>I expect he's basing his financial analysis on the lesser-known
spontaneous game generation model of publishing whereby with a click of
the greedy fat-cat company's claws, immaculately finessed, complete games
miraculously appear in their grubby paws, ready to be stuffed in an
oversized box and shipped off to WH Smiths for sale at an inflated
premium.</p>
<p>Thomas either purchased his economics degree from one of those online
certificate-forging outfits, or he was ten years old at the time and still
believed in magic. Although, not if he's the same Thomas Sharkey of
Glasgow who was murdered along with his son and daughter in an arson
attack in 2011, aged 55. There's a cheery take-away epigram to set you up
for the day. My pleasure.</p>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">
<h2>Piracy revisited</h2>
<p><span style="color: purple;">Dear YOB,</span></p>
<p><span style="color: purple;">If people who sell pirate games are
criminals then what are the people who make and sell originals? They
sell a disk in a big box full of useless pictures and stuff and charge
twenty-five pounds for it. Tell me how much it would cost for an
original to be made. My guess is about 3. That's a profit of around
22. If this isn't criminal, what is? If you buy a pirate game and
don't like it, you have only wasted a few pounds. Whereas if you buy
the original and don't like it, you have wasted over twenty quid. I
think a lot more original games would be sold if the totally idiotic
price tag was cut. I don't see why a disk should cost nearly double
the price of a tape and I don't see why they expect people to buy
originals instead of paying an eighth of the price and getting a
pirate.</span></p>
<p><strong>Thomas Sharkey, Glasgow</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: purple;">YOB: I've had to listen to some
pea-brained numb-skulls in my time, but this takes the chocolate
Hob-Nobs. Answer me this simple question, poo-for-sense: if everybody
bought pirate games and no-one bought originals, who would make the
originals that are being pirated? I'll tell you who - no-one. So
there'd be no games at all. And that's why your argument is dead
before it even comes to life.</span></p>
<p><strong>Computer and Video Games (issue 114, May 1991)</strong></p></div>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-83637382024694991572020-10-02T06:43:00.012+01:002020-10-03T07:33:55.259+01:00The all-time greatest Amiga Power reader's letters ever! <h2 style="text-align: left; margin-left: 40px;">My friends agree with me</h2>
<h2></h2>
<p> </p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Dear AP</span> <span
style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">I have been
reading your magazines since they first came out. But I would like to
share a few ideas. I have noticed in some other magazines they have had
a page with drawings of say Soinc (sic) punching Mairo (sic) in the
face. I find this quite funny and good fun to read and my friends agree
with me so could you please think about it.</span> <span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong><span style="color: purple;">Yours
sincerely, Tim Wood, Uckfield</span></strong> <span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">Consider it
thought about</span> <span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p>I remember such fan art pictures doing the rounds in the early '90s,
though reading Amiga magazines you'd be more likely to see Zool abusing
Sonic or Gomez taking a swipe at Mario. That said, I'd much rather witness
Mario and Sonic synchronise magic bullet volleys, assassinating one
another simultaneously so we never have to endure either of the overhyped
pixel-pestering stooges ever again. If there's a compassionate god up
there, surely it would have happened by now? Even today the interwebs are
full of illustrated sparring matches between the irksome mascots, so
apparently, the sentiment has never faded.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000099;">▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █
▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂ </span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p>Elsewhere in the 'And another thing' column...</p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">I own one of
every issue of AP and two copies of issue eight. As a reward for my
loyalty, can you print the letter 'D' on the spine of the next issue so
I can spell 'MIAOW I AM A GRAPE GOD' on my bookshelf?</span> <span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><strong><span style="color: purple;">Yours
sincerely, Ben Twitchen, Southend-On-Sea</span></strong> <span style="color: purple;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: purple;">We'll think about
it.</span></p>
<p>Sounds like a perfectly reasonable request to me. It not being granted
must have been an oversight.</p> dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-58889334209391899932020-10-01T21:08:00.005+01:002020-10-01T23:27:24.177+01:00The collected works of moi<p>For reasons that now escape me, I once believed it would be a sensible idea to create humongous PDF compilations of all my articles, complete with 637 gazillion pictures. The largest of these megabooks filled several thousand pages, occupying well over a gigabyte of data. Problem is, they were totally layout-locked rather than reflowable as is the modern way, so absolutely painful to read on mobile devices, aside from being a nightmare to update and recompile.</p><div>I spent so long designing covers and writing the foreword introductions for these unwieldy doorstops, I thought it would be a shame to bin the 'wrappers' sandwiching them now I've individually split out all the contents into more flexible epub format ebooks. I hereby present a mini-loaf of bread slices minus the meat filling. Perfect for those of you who salivate over the prospect of carb-heavy trailers without watching the full bake-off. You could say it's a few sarnies short of a picnic. You could even descend further into inane gibberish by quoting Yogi bear, only this is wibbly enough and needs to end. Here. Now.</div><div><br /></div><p><a href="https://archive.org/details/just-throw-it-to-the-ducks-dreamkatcha">download ebook in epub format</a></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12812963.post-54964707540055381132020-10-01T06:48:00.002+01:002020-10-01T06:48:09.129+01:00Remember when reading magazines made time-travellers of us all?<p>Why were Amiga magazine publishers (and magazine publishers in general) incapable of printing the current/correct publication date on their issues? I explore the contentious controversy with a bit of help from a bemused former Amiga Action reader.</p><p><a href="https://archive.org/details/daft-magazine-dates-dreamkatcha">download ebook in epub format</a></p>dreamkatchahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07575101391371636953noreply@blogger.com0