Friday, June 13, 2014

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Yodel, couriers from hell!

The courier business isn't the most complicated, high-faluting of professions to be in. The way it works is, customers wrap up a parcel, slap an address on it, and the courier collects it from point A and drops it off at point B. I don't think you even need a PhD to qualify to be one these days. All of which is why my latest 'delivery' fiasco with Yodel is so staggering.

I made the arrangements through Parcels 2 Go and instructed the courier that as I would be out at the time of collection I'd appreciate it if they could take the parcel from my 'safe place' i.e. the cupboard in my porch. "No problem" they lied, and gave me the usual spiel about it being my funeral if anything should go awry.

The following day I find a card pushed through my letterbox to say, "we're sorry we were unable to collect your parcel today because you were out when we called". Really? What are the chances? Didn't we have that conversation less than 12 hours prior to the allotted pick up slot? In any case, the driver must have been standing inches away from the cupboard at the time, and unless I'm the first person to ever have arranged for a parcel to be collected while they are at work, you'd think it would have occurred to them to check the nine foot by three foot, hinged, handled monstrosity resembling an opening storage device next to them.

I got in touch with both Yodel and Parcels 2 Go to find out what was going on. Yodel totally ignored me, and Parcels 2 Go apologised and offered to re-arrange the collection for the following day. Another 24 hours go by and the parcel remains in my cupboard, though this time no-one bothered to show up to at least pretend to do their job competently, and Parcels 2 Go can't give me an explanation as to why Yodel can't get their heads around the whole pick-up-drop-off conundrum because they hadn't recorded any attempt - failed or otherwise - to collect my parcel!

I'm now told that another courier will be assigned the taxing challenge of collecting the parcel, but this won't take place for another three days because they don't do weekend collections.

In the meantime I'm having to apologise and re-apologise profusely to my eBay customer who only bought my goods on the proviso that I end the auction early and deliver immediately.

After this episode I'm beginning to look at Forrest Gump in a whole new light; next to this bunch of retards he looks like the love child of Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein.

Update: Well Monday rolled around and the parcel spent another day in the cupboard. This time City Link paid me a visit and they didn't bother to collect it either. Apparently whether or not an unattended parcel is collected is entirely at the discretion of the driver... despite Parcels 2 Go telling me in writing that this wasn't a problem at all as long as I was prepared to take the risk. I've now cancelled the purchase and refunded the buyer, and seriously need to consider making an appointment with my doctor to get a prescription for blood pressure pills!!!