Monday, May 18, 2015

, , ,

Office of the Dead

As much of a mystery as to why the characters in The Walking Dead never use the 'z' word, is why some of the 'walkers', 'biters', 'roamers' and 'rotters' in the battery farm, shared service centre in which I work spend half their day prowling back and forth, here, there and everywhere, pathering about for no apparent reason.

When you're shackled to your desk bored out of your reinforced shed, you tend to notice these things because everything around you is immediately so much more compelling than what's happening on your computer screen.

Watching from the corner of one eye you observe the same few people shuffle aimlessly by, and then catch them again in the corner of the opposite eye as they return to their desks. Where the flip are they going, what are they doing and why does it necessitate seven trips to the same place and back within the space of five minutes?

Is it a pre-lunch/home-time time-killer? Are they trying to ward off deep vein thrombosis by being in a perpetual state of motion? Perhaps they're making the world's most elaborate, over-engineered cup of coffee by keeping all the components of said coffee in their desk drawer and repeatedly traversing the grid layout of desks, delivering one ingredient at a time. I think it's even possible that each individual grain of coffee has been allocated its own drop-off time slot window.

Some 'walkers' are more conspicuous than others as they stomp about making enough noise to wake the dead (or at least morbidly insouciant). I'm convinced one guy in particular - who I've nick-named 'Godzilla' - actually wears concrete boots because each footfall makes my teeth rattle and the entire office floor tremble in his wake.

While we're on the subject, how does the term 'walker' in any way define someone who used to be sentient, but has since died and returned from the other side to shamble about, mindlessly craving the gastronomic delights of human grey matter? 'Walker' as opposed to what? The ones who 'Come Dine On Me' from the vantage point of a wheelchair because they no longer have use of their half-gnawed off legs? Can't say I've seen too many of those in the show so far.

...and weren't they technically 'walkers' before they morphed into animated corpses?

In any case, whatever they're up to, I wish they'd stop it because it's extremely distracting. I'm beavering away here at my workstation trying to write a surreptitious blog post in a tiny Notepad Window to avoid being rumbled for wasting company time. There's just no consideration for others, that's what's wrong with the post apocalyptic modern world.