Monday, 31 August 2020

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Meet the JoystickMaster

I quiz Richard Sekula, former sales manager at Spectravideo, concerning his involvement in devising the monumental golden GamesMaster joystick. An iconic trophy that would be used to reward celebrity (and lowly commoner) contestants for winning challenges throughout seven series of the massively popular Channel 4 TV show back in the '90s. download ebook in epub for...

Sunday, 30 August 2020

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GamesMaster, all of it, quite literally

From Butlins redcoat to island castaway, I chart the rise and demise of TVs' most successful video gaming entertainment show ever produced. Dominic Diamond's notoriously risque quips and dour delivery as memorable as the celebrity challenges, GamesMaster has gone down in history as an inexplicable anomaly never to be repeated. Seven whole series worth of reviews, contests, golden joysticks, editorial...

Saturday, 29 August 2020

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Under the influence

Bad Influence was the family-friendly, less-edgy, often educational alternative to GamesMaster, running parallel with Dominik's show between 1992 and 1996 on CITV. Hosted by Violet Berlin and Andy Crane, it covered similar gaming ground, though also expanded its scope to embrace general technological developments with a focus on how they were being used creatively at the time and would be in...

Sunday, 23 August 2020

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Oceans apart

Living in Manchester I pass by the former headquarters of Ocean Software all the time. An unforgivable missed opportunity then not to drop into the Quaker friends' meeting house for an impromptu unguided tour and photo-snooping session.Walking amongst the dead, risking life, limb and incarceration, I tread the illustrious path of the game-developing superstar-heroes who gifted us so many unforgettable...

Friday, 21 August 2020

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The Retrogaming Sales Chart Database is ready to rumble!

When I wasn't looking, my Amiga Game Sales Chart Database contracted The Virus and evolved. Meet the Retrogaming Sales Chart Database! Or RGSCDB for those of you who appreciate snazzy, unmemorable acronyms! As I imagine you've already gathered, it now features sales ranking data from multiple old-school computer and console systems rather than just the Amiga. These include, in alphabetical order,...

Friday, 7 August 2020

Kid Gloves as the progenitor of Angry Video Game Nerds

Whilst irate NES gamers tore their hair out in frustration attempting to beat the insanely difficult Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Battletoads, we Amiga and Atari ST computer users wrangled with the deceptively jolly, cutesy-bouncy platformer, Kid Gloves. Featuring music bearing deeper-rooted resilience than an earworm wearing climbing crampons, and a death animation you'll love then loath after...

Thursday, 6 August 2020

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Amiga spotting with The IT Crowd

Given the regular appearance of vintage computer hardware in the nerdy tech support-oriented TV sitcom, The IT Crowd, surely the mighty, historically significant Commodore Amiga must at some point also have been treated to a cameo role? Jason Fitzpatrick, curator of the Centre for Computing History in Cambridge, was responsible for decorating the basement set seen on screen, so he'd certainly be able...
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And sometimes when we touch...

Gaming history is littered with the broken corpses of failed console/computer joysticks, joypads and other obscure peripherals. Triax's Turbo Touch 360 is a prime example. What seemed like an ingenious 'why has this never been tried before now?' concept, in retrospect, was a bungled misstep. Even now we're all using touchscreen smartphones and other digital devices, apparently, we prefer something...
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We can't build our dreams, on suspicious minds

Amiga Rod-land-esque platformer, Trap 'Em, could more accurately be anointed 'Trap 'Em Then Obliterate The Alien Critters With Your Laser Gun', for that is the mechanism by which our squidgy foes can be expected to expire. Except that's not quite so catchy, is it? Plus, any airborne baddies can be blasted outright minus the inconvenience of prior trapage. As an appetite-whetting synopsis, I suspect...
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Commodore had a video game burial ground too

Sometimes situations transpire that result in games publishers being left lumbered with many thousands of unsaleable copies of an ill-fated title. Occasionally the rumours that surplus stock is dealt with by donning a hard hat and visiting a landfill dump riding in a JCB are absolutely true! download ebook in epub for...
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Achy breaky Menace

I scrutinise Guru Larry Jnr's allegation that the licensed Amiga platform game, Dennis the Menace, was deliberately rendered unbeatable to cover-up the fact (?) that it was released unfinished. In a separate article found elsewhere on my blog, you'll find an interview I conducted with the game's coder, former Ocean Software developer Ben Walshaw, to establish if there is any truth to the rumour. download...
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Hazy Game Reviews

Because System 3's Putty wasn't nearly Silly enough, Pink Pig Software took the stretchy ball of protagonist gloop, multiplied it by three and transformed the scenario into a single-screen arena duelling affair. 'Blob Kombat' was what transpired; a charmingly animated, three-player, AGA-powered shareware title entirely deserving of the moderate fee charged. download ebook in epub for...
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Don't copy that floppy! ...steal it instead

The not-so-well hidden secret of Top Secret is that it's a shameless Rod-land rip-off, minus some of the core elements that make it so satisfying to play; spontaneous ladder generation and the fairies' comically unconventional means of attack. Is whatever remains worthy of your attention? Is Top Secret "probably the best PD game ever" as Amiga Power magazine optimistically suggested? Albeit on the...
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Warlocks. No, it's all true!

Benny Hill wasn't especially known for his affiliation with video games, yet here is gurning his way onto your ZX Spectrum's telebox screen doing what he does best; being chased by anyone and eventually everyone (unfortunately minus his borrowed signature theme tune). It would seem that all his lascivious leering has finally driven Benny to change his ways, turning him to the light side of community-minded...
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Om nom nom nom

'Cookie' is the ultimate cake-baking simulator you can feed to your sweet-toothed ZX Spectrum or Amiga. You'd hope so as it was made by Ultimate Play the Game, thus establishing high expectations. Charlie the Chef's sole objective is to corral the sentient, unruly ingredients required for his recipe, steering them from the larder into a giant mixing bowl using well-time flour bag projectiles without...
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House of Christmas Cards

Robotron is all fine and dandy, but where's King Rudolph the Santa Emperor with his sack of yuletide remixed trinkets? And what about his unruly, sentient deck of cards? And surely 2084 should have had a duel energy bar health system implemented by then? Eugene Jarvis and Larry DeMar, to Robotron's detriment, didn't consider any of these critical conundrums, so it's fortuitous that Stavros Fasoulas...

Wednesday, 5 August 2020

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Guns don't kill kids, Amigas do

If you've ever played Operation Wolf and wished you could swap the ice-cold-hearted, battle-hardened enemy soldiers for innocent school kids, earning points for assassinating them with a sniper rifle, just out of sporting curiosity, Schoolyard Slaughter is no doubt the game for you! Appropriately enough it was devised by the likely non-existent, anonymous developers, Sickworld Software, and kicked...
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Your country needs you! Join the quest to preserve extreme violence for the masses!

Proving that pretty graphics alone a good game do not make, top-down, two-player arena combat extravaganza, Extreme Violence, is infinitely unputdownable. It's even been known to spark real-world violence of an extreme nature. Just ask my armless, one-legged sister, Eileen. You'll find an alternative video adaptation of this article on YouTube. download ebook in epub for...
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Skidmarks Racer 'diska-zine'

Acid Software, publishers of the Super Sprint-inspired isometric racing game, Skidmarks for the Amiga, initially intended to issue a regular, accompanying, disk-based magazine, yours for the price of a stamp. Did it ever happen? Were you a subscriber? Please allow me to rev my investigative engine, churn the dirt, sift through the mucky evidence and douse it in shaken champagne. Or just do a bit of...
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Cowaplunger duds!

Round the Bend is the sewer-situated, parody-packed kid's equivalent of the satirical, puppet-powered Spitting Image TV show, attracting sufficient viewing figures to warrant its own home micro computer game in 1991. As did its more adult-oriented analogue, adapted for off-beat bash 'em up fans by Domark. Round the Bend publishers, Impulze, were equally enamoured with Doc Croc, Jemimah Wellington-Green,...
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Things Ain't Working Out Down At The Farm

In the UK, playing computer games based on Italian comic book characters we'd never heard of wasn't a fantastically popular pastime. I'd hazard a guess the same would apply to every other non-Italian-speaking country in the world. All of which explains why when I mention 'Lupo Alberto' you'll likely furrow your brow with dumbfounded befuddlement, crab-stepping away into the shadows whistling nonchalantly,...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - T-Racer

In 1992 Team 17's Project-X was the preposterously-gorgeously slick shmup to beat. Polished to a lustre 17 fathoms beyond eye-melting. Because it was the number one R-Type-killer to stomp into the mud, mockingly chanting "haha, we killed your R-Type-killer dead", Virtual Dreams attempted to replicate it two years later by virtue of their me-too work of art, T-Racer. It certainly looks the part - you'd...
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Getting out of my depth for Pete's sake

Wild West, gunslinging desperado, Badlands Pete, is appointed chief daughter-rescuer on behalf of the governor in ARC's 2D, side-scrolling arcade shooter. Only problem is he can't mosey with his pistol drawn, which tends to limit his kidnap-recovery mission. No matter, Badlands Pete is better-known for its 'Strip-A-Motion' claim to fame. Even if it is of debatable veracity. download ebook in...
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The Games that Weren't Article that Wasn't

Now that the former Game That Wasn't, Ultracore (nee Hardcore), has finally been salvaged from pixel scrapyard oblivion, published for the SEGA Mega Drive, Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, and PS Vita in 2019, people like to ignore the fact that Digital Illusions' run 'n' gun platform shoot 'em up was originally intended for release on the Amiga. Nevermind, I'm just glad it materialised full stop,...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - Super Beau in Wonder World

Playing Kid Gloves II for more than five seconds you'll be struck by how little it has in common with Kid Gloves part I. There's a good reason for that; scratch just below the Pritt-Sticked on name tag and it's actually an independently developed cutesy platformer previously known as Little Beau. Ironically, it plays far more like Wonder Boy than the game it was adopted to sequelise. download ebook...
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The cure for the summertime zoos

CJ's Elephant Antics is Codemasters reasonably successful attempt to recreate the magic of Taito's arcade classic, New Zealand Story. OK, so it's somewhat trunkcated *pause for uncontrollable laughter*, yet wholesome, convivial fun regardless. We play as the acronymous, titular CJ who ain't gonna take it no more! He's fled captivity homeward bound for Africa, crossing continents, conquering climates...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - Alien Bash II

There's no avoiding the elephant in the room - Alien Bash II is a freebie, PD rendition of The Chaos Engine. Lock, stock, kit and caboodle... or whatever the phrase is. If it hadn't been given away for nuffink via an Amiga Format cover disk, I suspect the Bitmap Brothers might have sued for plagiarism damages. That minor quibble aside, it looks great, and plays exceptionally well for an amateur hobbyist...
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Slam plonk the Flonk!

What was that funny game called we used to play at school where you'd kick a row of six furry, brown, Furby-like critters at an opponent? If you managed to boot all your 'Beloms' onto their side of the pitch so they were reluctantly in possession of all twelve simultaneously, you could then charge over into their territory and declare yourself victorious. I can't remember, nevermind. Anyway, it was...
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Spodland lives!

In 1992 Amiga Power in collaboration with The Hidden, developers of everyone's favourite samurai duck, Donk, ran a design a game competition, the illustrious prize being for the winning entry to be transformed into a fully playable, cover-mounted public domain game. Who won, and where can you download their magnum opus today? download ebook in epub for...
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Meet Wildcat's big brother

"Blazing your way to glory" in Wings of Fury initially rests on one's ability to successfully lift off from an aircraft carrier situated in the Pacific Ocean. A tricky task that flummoxes many newcomers to such an extent that they give up at the first hurdle, never to fully appreciate the joys of the horizontally scrolling, arcade-strategy flight sim that captivated my inner Maverick as a child. As...
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You can tell a penguin by what he has to say

Deceptively simple, our cutesy penguin protagonist's goal in Crazy Seasons is to shove together in a designated order a selection of four blocks labelled with geometrically distinct shapes. These can be located anywhere on the single-screen levels, often guarded by patrolling enemies of the wildlife variety. While these can easily be killed by ramming blocks into them or using a temporary bonus revolver,...
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Bondyman, Bondyman, does anything a Spider can

Loopy scientist, Dr Devious, operating under the influence of an unhealthy obsession with Picasso's cubist paintings has devised a gizmo that turns buildings, objects and even people into solid, useless cubes that then only serve to take up space and trip up unsuspecting pedestrians. To counter this gravely serious threat, the secret service drafts in their most trusted 007 impersonator, JJ Maverick....
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You can't do magic

We, a mighty wizard's incompetent apprentice have opened Pandora's box unleashing an army of 'Fuzzball' critters into his tower to wreak havoc. To complicate matters further, we too have been transformed into a quadriplegic ball of fluff. To regain the boss's trust and convince him to transform us back to human form we must clear each single-screen level by collecting treasure and eliminating the...
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reTHINK Pink

If you're rich, sleepwalk and reside in a mansion packed to the rafters with expensive ornaments, don't be surprised if you receive a visit from the Pink Panther, cat burglar extraordinaire. For it is his 'duty' to rob you blind whilst preoccupied roaming the extensive corridors of your home, obliviously unaware of the Panther of colour's crooked, clandestine scheme. Anyway, that's their problem....
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A bundle of dreams

Bundling Ocean Software's highly acclaimed Batman the movie multi-genre, arcade-action platform game with Amiga 500 hardware back in 1989 played an immensely influential role in the system's proliferation. I chart the rise of the console-beating computer beginning with that key decision made by Commodore's then UK managing director, David Pleasance. download ebook in epub for...
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The Vampire Strikes Back

Count Dracula is up to his old neck-chewing tricks again over in Transylvania (the Vampire's Empire) and only Doctor Van Helsing is qualified and equipped to banish him back to his box permanently. In Magic Bytes' horror-themed platformer we learn that to contain the deadly threat our doc saviour must target Dracula by reflecting magic light beams deep into the core of his soul via the precision positioning...
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Three ways to die in Babyland

Baby Jo goes home. That's almost the title and this cutesy, quirky French platformer in a nutshell. Except the eponymous tyke is blessed with genuine personality, a comically novel health-monitoring system and beautifully simplistic cartoony graphics that would entice hardcore cynics and big soft pansies alike. Plus, just for the helluvit up pops Daffy Duck! I got that carried away by this off-the-wall...

Tuesday, 4 August 2020

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More fox than you can sheikh a golden scooter at

During the height of the super-cute platformer game era, Titus' contribution was to lend their mascot, Titus the Fox, to the cause. It's an entertaining, solidly constructed effort enlivened with charming graphics, albeit one hampered by excessively rapid motion and infuriating inertia. Interaction with springs, weaponised crates, skateboards and magic carpets further enhance the above-average offering...
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Is cloning the future a pre-crime?

Dr A. Noid, perpetrator of the Great Biological Holocaust, remains on the loose in a post-apocalyptic world crawling with slime-oozing zombies high on 'SLU'. Naturally, as a totally coincidental Mad Max look-a-like bounty hunter, we're obliged to engage our ATV in obliterating all vehicular threats in our path whilst dodging mines and gun turrets. Because battering ram combat vehicles generally won't...
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We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay?

Today, games presented entirely through an artistic silhouette perspective are so commonplace they probably represent a genre in themselves. Back in 1991 when Jason Kingsley introduced us to the intriguing visual effect via his hack 'n' slash platformer, Blade Warrior, it was a genuine novelty. Featureless sprite outlines set against minimally tinted moonlit backdrops alone sufficient to make the...
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Now playing in Squint-o-vision

Many Amiga game developers were guilty of wasting swathes of playfield screen real estate, instead dedicating the space to enormous pixel-hogging HUDs. Typically this was done to minimise the system resources required to animate the active playing area at a reasonable framerate without going above and beyond the call of duty in the application of sophisticated workarounds. I track down the worst offenders...
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The Unreviewables

Some games are such pitiful non-entities that I'd struggle to find enough words to form what you could justifiably call a review. Here I explain why Dick Tracy for the Amiga falls into such a category, while writing far more on the subject than it deserves. download ebook in epub for...
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Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, fix Robocop

I investigate Guru Larry Jnr's claim that Ocean attempted to cover-up a graphically distorted level of RoboCop for the Commodore 64 by setting an unbeatably stingy time limit in the preceding stage. All because they couldn't be bothered, or didn't have the time, to fix the issue prior to release. download ebook in epub for...
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hulkhoganwearsyellownickers

Ocean's first foray into sweaty, muscle-bound, square circle brawling wasn't canvas-quaking by any stretch of the imagination, yet when you experience it at the pinnacle of your childhood WWF Wrestlemania fixation, playing against an excitable flesh and blood opponent, it tends to make an impact extending far beyond its impartial merit. Embodying The Ultimate Warrior, stalking Sergeant Slaughter beyond...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - guilty feet have got no rhythm

Leading a second-rate cast of B movie imposters in Codemasters' hack 'n' slash platformer, Sword & The Rose (aka Prince Clumsy), we Loki horns with a deja vu-spiking gaggle of ghouls, ghosts and goblins. Can you guess from which famous duo of Capcom games it draws inspiration/nicks the design and artwork lock, stock and barrel? download ebook in epub for...
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My samoflange is all out of whack

Beyond the Ice Palace is by and large an unremarkable Ghosts 'n' Goblins-esque platforming romp concerned with redressing the wonky balance between good and evil. What makes it worthy of deeper analysis is an intriguing origin story that belies its non-licensed status. More specifically, Beyond the Ice Palace was initially developed as an official accompaniment to the ThunderCats cartoon, later debranded...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - Indiana Groans and the Dead Ephalump Pilgrimage

One man's dream has become one man's destiny! But which man, Tusker or Indiana Jones? Either way, we're duty-bound to follow in our father's footsteps in search of the legendary elephant graveyard, sequestered somewhere deep within the undiscovered, inhospitable tropics of African. Will we unearth ivory beyond our wildest dreams or just the desiccated bones of Sean Connery? download ebook in epub...
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Heaven is a halfpipe when you're a sk8er boi

Skidz from Core Design aptly demonstrates that kidz can be kool as well as environmentally responsible. Whether we choose to ride BMX or skateboard wheelz, our mission is to collect 75% of the litter strewn across each obstacle course stage, earning bonus points in between for performing stunts. Scavenged refreshments boost health, whilst money can be exchanged for hardware upgrades. Skidz is pretty...
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Just my rifle, Sony and me

In Infogrames' Safari Guns we're invited to shoot local wildlife and photograph the scurrilous poachers slaughtering endangered species to produce tacky tourist trinkets. Or is it the other way round? Either way, it's like Operation Wolf with a muddled stance towards violence, armed with a Nikon. download ebook in epub for...
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Hair today, gone tomorrow

Scientific boffin genius, Dr Bakterius, has been kidnapped by a shady terrorist organisation known as O.M.A., impelling bumbling private eye detectives, Mort and Phil aka Clever and Smart, into incisive action. If you're Spanish and have terrible taste in illustrated fiction, you may recognise the not-so-dynamic duo from a newsagent comic book stand near you. In the top-down action-puzzle game of...
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Spiderfanfaction

Mary Jane has been kidnapped by the facelessly enigmatic supervillain, Mysterio, retreating to his home turf playground to begin taunting her imminent knight in red and blue lycra, Spider-Man. Luring Spidey through six booby-trapped movie sets, Mysterio is in a prime position to execute the special effect trickery he has spent his former career perfecting. Venturing through 250 screens worth of hostile,...
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Le Coup du parapluie starring Bub and Bob

Rainbows retired, Bub and Bob are back, now armed to the teeth with... Mary Poppins prop paraphernalia. Parasol Stars is the arguably better sequel to Taito's arcade coin-op classic hit, Rainbow Islands. You'll struggle to find a baddie dispatch mechanic to rival the satisfaction of unbridled umbrella battery! In close combat situations, it functions as a blunt bludgeoning tool or water droplet propulsion...
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Games coder Steve Howard discusses Bride of Frankenstein and Werewolves in London

I chat to the frightfully talented coder of two blood-curdling 8-bit arcade-action games of classic horror origin. We explore the design decisions taken, artistic influences and what might have been without the imposition of the primitive host systems' limitations. download ebook in epub for...
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Talkin' bout a revolution

Despotic mononymous nutjob, Fernandez, has overthrown the legitimate government of the Democratic Republic of El Diablo. As a fearless Commando substitute for hire, we're drafted in to oust him from his cushy self-appointed kingdom via a top-down, vertically scrolling shooter that takes inspiration from all the usual suspects... Ikari Warriors, Rambo, Gun.Smoke etc. Enhancements to the basic formula...
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Your move creep

An in-depth analysis of Ocean Software's innovative, experimental effort to combat piracy through dongle-based authorisation. RoboCop 3, published in 1992, was chosen as the game through which to test the optimistic technique. Accompanying three floppy disks was a hardware device you would be obliged, rather inconveniently, to connect to one of your Amiga system's joystick ports whenever playing the...
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War was more fun in my day

Sturmtruppen is the run-and-gun Amiga-exclusive World War II horizontally scrolling platform game you've never heard of, based on the Italian comic book you've never heard of. Think Green Beret crossed with Silkworm, inflected with the 'humour' of Dad's Army. What keeps it marginally interesting is the capacity to switch between various modes of transport, and a generous selection of diverse weaponry....
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More fun than a barrel of monkeys

In CarVup we star as Arnie, a cute little vehicle that would look right at home in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, yet was actually plucked from Jaleco's City Connection arcade coin-op. Our goal is simply to explore every last area of a given level within a limited timeframe, transforming the appearance of platforms to reverse Captain Grim's evil influence. It's a sub-genre in itself believe it or not -...
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National Thexder's Egyptian Vacation

Denton Designs' one of a kind scrolling 2D action-adventure platformer, Eye of Horus, drops us into the antiquated sandals of venerated ancient Egyptian hawk-headed deity, Horus. Explore the pyramids and transcendental myths surrounding his turbulent existence, flipping effortlessly between Horus' duel forms to re-live his notoriously epic struggle to avenge the death of his father Osiris, King of...
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When it's clear as MUD, in your neighbourhood. Who ya gonna call?

I explore the gaming life and times of multi-talented artist, coder and musician, Antony Crowther, quizzing him specifically on Captain Planet and the Planeteers. Because for no logical reason it fascinates me. download ebook in epub for...
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Greeny McPeaceface

If every movie, TV show, breakfast cereal, soft drink and so on, ad infinitum, is fair game for pixel-powered home micro adaptation, why not charities? Greenpeace certainly thought it couldn't hurt their eco-conservation cause, hence the existence of the multi-genre, sub-game medley, Rainbow Warrior, named in commemoration of their sabotaged, catastrophically capsized ship. Each challenge was inspired...

Monday, 3 August 2020

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Dino Dini, Deenie Dino and Dudley Duck - last-minute stocking filler anyone?

Noddalodda people know this; the outfit who manufactured 9-pin, D-sub connector QuickShot joysticks in the '80s and '90s also very briefly dabbled with remote-controlled novelty toys. You might have caught a fleeting glance at one of these in Argos or Tandy before they sunk without a trace... until now. download ebook in epub for...
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Galvatron, oh, Galvatron, I still hear your particle accelerator cannons crashin'...

In the game of the animated TV show, Challenge of the Gobots, inspired by the transforming toyline, we clamber into the cockpit of Leader-1, big cheese commander of the Guardians. To scupper Dr Braxis' scheme to destroy earth, having taken hostage of our chums for bartering chips, we must flip into F-15 fighter jet mode to tackle the threat by way of a Defender clone set on planet Moebius. Spaceships...
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Chews flash!

Eye-gougingly garish platformer, Snapperazzi, published by Alternative Software and developed by 'Mental', certainly is, both. Should you and your grey matter momentarily part company, you'll agree to be recruited as a scuzzy snap-hound alien hailing from the Planet Dirk, employed by the cat litter tray liner Sun newspaper. As such your only objective is to deliver at any cost exclusive photos of...
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You are what you invent

Minding his own business, eating himself to death one night in front of the gogglebox, probably watching Gogglebox, Roy Fat's better half is kidnapped by the unsavoury Thindicate corporation. Rescuing her - preferably without handing over Roy's precious food duplicator invention - entails donning his Bananaman leotard disguise, sweeping through multiple divergently-themed platform stages, munching...
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Sleepcoding with former CTA developer, John Scott

Sleepwalker programmer, John Scott, drops in to answer my questions concerning one of the Amiga's most impressive action-puzzle games. Not only satiating kid's craving for entertainment, Sleepwalker actually fed plenty of undernourished children in the UK and Africa via its affiliation with the Comic Relief charity appeal. Solidifying its seal of quality, Lenny Henry makes a vocal cameo appearance...
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Extremely safe violence

Techno Cop is the kind of law enforcement officer who investigates criminal activity by blasting Death on Arrival gang members to smithereens with his .88 Magnum... and asking questions, never. To stay one step ahead of the delinquent punks he'll need to arrive at the scene of the crime before DoA even know which law they're about to violate. Fortuitous then that our high-tech crime-stopper comes...
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Nutty but nice

Renowned Amiga demo group, Melon Dezign, have a dabble at game development. Cutesy, highly polished, single-screen, old-school platformer emerges starring a pair of Naughty Ones. Can it out-Bobble the troubled Bubble dragons in the addictivity stakes? Would the crackers steer clear out of respect and recognition for Melon's animated intro contributions? download ebook in epub for...
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Voodoo Vengeance

Boots Barker has been ditched by his cheating wife, betrayed by his best chum, cursed to wear a voodoo perma-mask, abandoned in the deepest, darkest recesses of the African jungle to be eaten by bemused wildlife. He's certainly known better days! Can you tame the isometric environment, solve the puzzles impeding Barker's escape route from this humid hellhole and ultimately defeat the Congo witch doctor...
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Games coder Steve Howard discusses the real-first-proper Wipe Out Amiga title

Coder Steve Howard answers my questions regarding his Tron-like, light cycle tournament on hoverboards gaming creation released for the Atari ST and Amiga in 1990. Five years before Sony/Psygnosis commandeered the already adopted name for their futuristic racing game, WipEout. download ebook in epub for...
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Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butz here. Seymour Butz. Hey, everybody! I wanna Seymour Butz!

Seymour Goes to Hollywood... because The Oliver Twins didn't approve of Dizzy crossing the boundary between fantasy and 'reality' to star in Movieland Dizzy. That, in a tiny eggshell, is the origin story of Dizzy's lesser-known poor cousin, Seymour. Many of the key elements responsible for popularising Dizzy remain, yet the amorphous, anthropomorphic blob failed to captivate the eggy one's core audience...
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I bought a ticket to the world, but now I've come back again

A delectable smorgasbord of Amiga-flavoured trivia perfect for your next retrogaming pub quiz. You might be surprised to learn how many public houses are called Commodore something-or-other. If they don't host regular Amiga or C64 events this should be made a crime punishable by plank-walking. download ebook in epub for...
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Plumbing the depths

When fledgling games developers of the '80s and '90s weren't preoccupied dreaming of replicating Sonic for the home micros, they dreamt of replicating Mario for the home micros. Terry's Big Adventure is Mario clone attempt no. 768, on this occasion courtesy of Gametec. At the time, Terry's (almost) unique selling point was the deployment of his yo-yo as an offensive weapon (as opposed to a polite,...
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SEGA's ESWAT faces prosecution for violation of police felony code 146a

With a plague of crime haunting Liberty City, it's feeling less free by the day. Time to call in LCPD's experimental new ESWAT (Enhanced Special Weapons and Tactics) squad. What are the chances our cyber-suited heroes were trained by everyone's favourite cyborg, Alex 'RoboCop' Murphy? Regardless, I'm not sure how he'd advise handling the King Kong or tiger bosses encountered in this surreal dystopia....
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Getting stoned with Skeletor

Skeletor, bony arch-nemesis of He-Man, embracing the omnipotent Ilearth Stone, has stormed Castle Greyskull, captured the Sorceress and now is busily assembling an army of clones to consummate his despicable scheme to become Lord of all Eternia. To thwart his lordliness, He-Man must first free Orko from necromantic imprisonment, enabling him to conjure a spell that will transform the prince's Sword...
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Just call my name and oil be there

Clever scientist boffin types have invented a K.L.I.P.T. cyborg to preserve the future of humanity whose genetic code is under threat. To test the proficiency of their fancy new technology, these white-coated wizards of the engineering persuasion recruit us to put the bot through its paces, designating the exercise a 'Bio Challenge'. Your brief is simple; survive. download ebook in epub for...
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Talking turkey with Simon Phipps

I quiz talented coder/artist, Simon Phipps, on his involvement with the gaming adaptation of Monty Python's Flying Circus, published by Virgin in 1990. You can find my ridiculously comprehensive review of the TV show and its accompanying game elsewhere on my blog. download ebook in epub for...

Sunday, 2 August 2020

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Revenge is a dish best served unsold

Dr Doom has nicked a nuclear weapon and is threatening to unleash it upon the innocent civilian population of New York. Since Empire Software's license also included the rights to produce games starring The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America, ensuring the survival of five million citizens was tacked onto their to-do lists. They'll certainly have their work cut out seeing as the diabolical doc...
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The Great Gnorm Gnat switcheroonie

In Garfield's first-ever video game outing, our favourite Monday-hating, lethargic moggy cynic is forced to elevate one's furry butt to rescue his beloved Arlene from the cat pound. Don't underestimate the gravity of the scenario, it's a 'Big, Fat, Hairy Deal'. Essentially a simplistic object manipulation adventure caper enhanced immensely by association with Jim Davis' iconic newspaper strip caricature. download...
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I saw a flash, then a sparkle from a moonstone

Choose your knight and prepare to fight! Against mudmen, troggs, ratmen, baloks, trolls, dragons ...and OMG what the hell is that?, and how am I still talking with my severed head lying submerged in a festering puddle of mud and gore? With blood-splatter, trailing guts and decapitation aplenty, Moonstone is the hack 'n' slash tournament combat game Highlander should have been. download ebook in epub...
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On the half shell they're the heroes four...

Ultra Games' NES-powered top-down-platformer hybrid Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles title was ported to the Amiga in 1990 twice, on each occasion by an independent developer separated by the Atlantic Ocean. Geography is relevant here because telephonic cabling wouldn't stretch that far, so there was a bit of a breakdown in communication. Hey, it's as good an explanation as any other I've heard. download...
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The greatest trick Bond ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist

Operation Stealth is a Delphine-devised 'Cinematique' point and click adventure game starring James Bond, or not, depending on where in the world you bought your copy. Either way, it's the same beautifully assembled package driven by a secret mission as Bondian as any celluloid excursion into 007ness, littered with witty allusions to MI6 superspy tropes. download ebook in epub for...

Saturday, 1 August 2020

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The Beeb's answer to Bad Influence?

'Game Talk' was a game-focused editorial segment hosted by Andi Peters, broadcast within the Going Live children's magazine show that aired between 1987 and 1993 on BBC 1. Where did it fit into the very limited pantheon of gaming TV shows? Did anyone take it seriously, and why have you never heard of it until now? download ebook in epub for...
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Never tell me the odds!

Depending on your appreciation for Harrison Ford's Han Solo persona (and the addition of lewd jokes that would never have gained approval from George Lucas), you'll either love or loath Divide by Zero's point and click adventure game, Innocent Until Caught. Jack T. Ladd (groan) is an arrogant, wise-cracking intergalactic thief who needs to raise a wad of moolah at short notice to get the interstellar...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - the fifth Gauntleteer

Whether you attempt to escape the alien maze prison playing as Puffy or his girlfriend, Puffyn, Puffy's Saga bears an undeniable resemblance to Gauntlet. That's the charge. I weigh up the evidence and try the accused because that's how this series works. download ebook in epub for...
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Lights, camera, Amiga Action

During its golden years, salad days, or whatever glib phrase you care to use to avoid saying "back in the day" because that's immeasurably irritating and means nothing, the Amiga forged a strong allegiance with the TV and movie industry. Amiga technology and the Video Toaster, in particular, was leading the way in digital creativity markets, so little wonder then that many of the most impressive special...
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A bit of Ruff

With Ruff ready and Reddy naturally prepared by default, the Hanna-Barbera chalk and cheese duo must round up the Lilli-Punies' compatriots in order to fulfil their conditions of release. Did I mention that Ruff and Reddy have been accidentally jettisoned into space whilst testing looney Professor Flipnoodles' Pocket Rocket? Then held hostage by mallet-wielding, mini blue aliens? No? I really should...
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To boldly go where no Amiga mascot has gone before

When Beavermania takes the world by storm, no Amiga is left unchewed! Mrs Beaver, wife of pop-mega-star, Jethro Beaver, has been kidnapped by rival band, the Rappin' Rabbit Rockers. By way of retort, our options include dissolving the group in exchange for our wife's safe return, or traipsing through six death-defying wilderness landscapes, tail-spinning bunny riff-raff into orbit, while attempting...
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Help me Dynamo, you're my only OAP

Discovering that Austen van Flyswatter is at the heart of an audacious diamond heist, retired, shambling superhero, Captain Dynamo, leaps into action, laughing in the face of his doctor's advice to concentrate on the condition of his own rickety ticker. In a rare moment of anti-ageist inclusivity in gaming, Codemasters teach us that diamonds are forever. I think that's the moral of the story. Nevertheless,...
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Ain't nothing like the unreal thing

A year after Shadow of the Beast rewrote the definition of aesthetic, limitation-defying splendour, Ubi Soft gave Psygnosis a sprint for their money, unveiling the 16-bit-exclusive, jaw-dropping work of art, Unreal. In accord with Shadow of the Beast, it's set in a low-tech, sci-fi fantasy realm where swords, sorcery and feral monsters dictate the lifespan of its anxious inhabitants. Most significantly,...
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Alien ant buys the farm

Gremlin's Sonic-squishing hopeful, Zool, was in the '90s to be converted to run in coin-op arcade cabinets destined for seaside towns around the nation. Despite evidence of a prototype appearing on the Bad Influence TV tech show and in several gaming magazines, the finished product ultimately failed to materialise. I track down some of the key developers commissioned to make it happen and investigate...
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Stiggy wiggy woo, where are you?

Licensed computer games have a mostly warranted reputation for not representing the pinnacle of pixelated pleasure. A refreshingly welcome surprise then to discover that Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo - PAL Development's puppy-powered platformer - breaks the mould! Vaunting reliable, responsive controls, faithfully reverent, meticulous graphics, a satisfying boxing glove attack mechanic, and even the...
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You can't fake a tape! Pictures don't lie!

Binary Design's pixelated interpretation of that notorious 'bloke in a latex mask pretending to be an artificially intelligent construct living in a computer' '80s TV show is an isometric puzzle-adventure game in which we play as Network 23 reporter, Edison Carter. His alter-ego, Max Headroom, has been kidnapped by his scurrilous employer and held captive somewhere in the premises of their eleven-story...
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Games coder Steve Howard discusses the console platformers, Terminator 2 and No Escape

I have the honour of interviewing programmer Steve Howard regarding two movie license console platformers he contributed to back in the '90s. An unexpected consequence of this nostalgia-nudging was the rare revelation of a collection of Terminator 2 cheats that had lain dormant for nearly three decades! download ebook in epub for...
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A vicious circle

Sonic the Hedgehog spinning into existence in 1991 sparked a desperate rush amongst game developers to replicate its success on non-SEGA hardware, minus the spiky blue-rinsed garden critter. Opinions remain divided regarding which Amiga game came closest to achieving this objective, though my money is on Kid Chaos. Nothing compares in terms of dizzying velocity, and technical brilliance. It doesn't...
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No! Not the bore worms!

For the benefit of escaping the horrors of mundane reality into an enticingly surreal world of comic book heroes and villains, you're Flash Gordon. At least in Enigma Variations' platforming computer game also starring Lothar, Phantom and Mandrake, together known as the Defenders of the Earth. This time Ming the Merciless has gone too far, kidnapping the children of the only available superheroes...
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A toast to your bad elf

Poke fun all you like at Santa's Xmas Caper, Zeppelin's zany yuletide-themed platformer, but we both know that as the Big Day jingles into view, the spirit of goodwill grabbing you by the stockings, you'll be dusting down your copy to reacquaint yourself with the chubby snowball-chucker like the rest of us. Some gaming theme tune ditties, once heard, can never be unheard. You've been warned! download...
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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - Robin Hood - Legend Quest

The Oliver Twins' first major hit in the province of computer game development was Super Robin Hood, published by Codemasters in 1986. Later converted by third-party developers, upgraded and rebranded 'Legend Quest' to include 16-bit systems, the folkloric-outlaw-inspired platformer re-emerged looking suspiciously like Gods by The Bitmap Brothers. Deliberate copyright-trampling cash-in or coincidental...
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I'm afraid of no lawyers

The Real Ghostbusters or just those owned by the studio with the most money and scariest legal team? I investigate the various contradictory ownership claims of the inconveniently generic moniker, whilst reviewing Activision's game of the cartoon, of the action figures, of the movie (not of the entirely independent TV show that predates it), which, as it happens, is merely a re-skinned, re-imagining...
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Somebody stop me!

I take a look at Gremlin's 8-bit game inspired by the MASK animated TV series. Should you be wondering, an acronym for 'Mobile Armored Strike Kommand', nothing at all to do with that gurning prat with the rubbery slime-green face. From a top-down perspective, we assume the role of Matt Trakker who has been tasked with rescuing his fellow agents from the clutches of the team's perennial nemesis, VENOM,...
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Set phasers to fun

A brief overview charting the history of computer-based light gun/phaser games. How do they work? Which systems are they available for, and are the games worth playing? download ebook in epub for...
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There goes my hero, he's ordinary...

In Delphine's inaugural Cinematique point-and-click adventure game we learn that even an unassuming workaday window cleaner can become an alien-invasion-quashing, time-travelling saviour of the universe. Also, that Lucasarts didn't have the monopoly on producing entertaining, finely-crafted graphical adventures. download ebook in epub for...
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Help me Domark, you're my only hope

A rundown of all the Star Wars computer games available for the Commodore Amiga. Plus, what happened to Jurgen Friedrich? Coder of the original wireframe Star Wars game based on Atari's 1983 classic coin-op. download ebook in epub for...
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