People we don't care about doing things we can't believe

Johnny and Adam - two LA-based teenaged surfer dudes - discover they are in actual fact crown princes of the Asian kingdom Patusan. Following an unprovoked ninja attack, Johnny's latent martial arts prowess manifests, while Adam realises he can manipulate certain events in his environment via the controls of his SEGA Game Gear handheld console. Vital aptitudes that will stand them in good stead for defeating the wickedly corrupt Colonel Chi who has made a career out of suppressing the downtrodden folk under his rule.

Would you believe that Surf Ninjas, box office bomb extraordinaire, spawned a computer game for the Amiga, CD32 and DOS-based PCs? Published in 1994 by Capstone, with Creative Edge at the coalface shovelling pixels, it's unsurprisingly a member of the crowded beat 'em up genre. Well, that's what they'd have you believe long enough to part with your £30 or thereabouts. You'll see.

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I'll be the judge of that

In 1995 Sylvestor Stallone stumbled into one of the worst calamities of his career; agreeing to take on the role of 2000AD comic book anti-hero, Judge Dredd. Set to the backdrop of a futuristic, dystopian, crime-ridden normality, Dredd is framed for murder by his own psychotic half-brother, Rico. Ironically, the police officer, judge, jury, and executioner spends much of the movie attempting to extricate himself from false imprisonment, fighting the injustice of the justice system that motivates and defines him to the core. It's a dour, humourless, charisma-free affair with little plot to speak of and no redeeming qualities.

Arriving 5 years earlier, the action-platformer Amiga game of the same name couldn't possibly have been based on the movie. Nevertheless, as it revolves around the same characters and source material, I assess them in tandem to discover if they are equally insipid and forgettable. In the game 'Sly' patrols six themed landscapes either on foot or riding/flying his trademark Lawmaster motorbike in an effort to keep a lid on Mega City One's escalating crime rate. On two wheels we travel much faster, yet are hobbled by the caveat of being unable to arrest or shoot the local criminal reprobates. Novelty mini-games and end of level boss battles add a dash of variety, or at least a diversion from the standard tedium on offer.

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