Things Ain't Working Out Down At The Farm

In the UK, playing computer games based on Italian comic book characters we'd never heard of wasn't a fantastically popular pastime. I'd hazard a guess the same would apply to every other non-Italian-speaking country in the world. All of which explains why when I mention 'Lupo Alberto' you'll likely furrow your brow with dumbfounded befuddlement, crab-stepping away into the shadows whistling nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact at all costs. But wait! Come back! It turns out that the game of the comic book is a solid little traditional platformer, draped in the sheen of seductively rudimentary cartoony visuals.

Premisely-speaking you shouldn't struggle to keep up; playing as the eponymous lupine protagonist (or Maria, his hen girlfriend), the objective is to find a comfortable spot in the landscape to... er... be intimate. Apparently, the rest of the wildlife featured doesn't approve of our inter-species relationship, making them the designated 'enemies'.

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You can tell a penguin by what he has to say

Deceptively simple, our cutesy penguin protagonist's goal in Crazy Seasons is to shove together in a designated order a selection of four blocks labelled with geometrically distinct shapes. These can be located anywhere on the single-screen levels, often guarded by patrolling enemies of the wildlife variety. While these can easily be killed by ramming blocks into them or using a temporary bonus revolver, it's not in our interests to eliminate them entirely. Should we accidentally clear the screen of baddies before completing our current block configuration challenge, the mission is a failure. How novel! A game that rewards us for preserving our adversaries.

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War was more fun in my day

Sturmtruppen is the run-and-gun Amiga-exclusive World War II horizontally scrolling platform game you've never heard of, based on the Italian comic book you've never heard of. Think Green Beret crossed with Silkworm, inflected with the 'humour' of Dad's Army. What keeps it marginally interesting is the capacity to switch between various modes of transport, and a generous selection of diverse weaponry. Cobbling together a psychedelic mash-up montage, synchronised to Cannon Fodder's 'War Has Never Been So Much Fun' theme tune also helps to liven it up a bit. Ask YouTube for directions.

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