Showing posts with label Commodore 64. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commodore 64. Show all posts

Friday, 6 November 2020

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Why there's a stampeding rhino enemy in Ocean's Hudson Hawk Amiga/Atari ST platform game

Undoubtedly one of life's great unresolved mysteries... until now!

Stompy is present in the two 16-bit games, yet none of the five 8-bit interpretations for the home micros/consoles. FYI precisely zero rhinos feature in the 1991 movie starring Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello and Andie MacDowell. Gosh! How intriguing! Almost makes you want to delve into the article or watch the YouTube video version for a thorough explanation.

Sunday, 11 October 2020

Tuesday, 6 October 2020

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I'm afraid of no toast

If you don't currently suffer from any irrational fears, you may well develop some new entirely logical ones after playing Tony Crowther's Phobia, a uniquely stylised, claustrophobic headmasher of a shmup that will pilfer your precious sleep and haunt your waking dreams. Psychotherapy not included!

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Monday, 5 October 2020

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Every Slimer has his day

Of course you've always wanted to be a vile, mucous-dribbling slug entrusted with rearing a brood of mini-mes. Crawl the walls, trap grubs in bubbles and feed them to your clan to keep them nourished, exuding a basking glow of green-blooded vitality. You win, you've got the job, congratulations. I've already switched your name to Steg the Slug and informed the social security office.

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Friday, 4 September 2020

Sunday, 23 August 2020

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Oceans apart

Living in Manchester I pass by the former headquarters of Ocean Software all the time. An unforgivable missed opportunity then not to drop into the Quaker friends' meeting house for an impromptu unguided tour and photo-snooping session.

Walking amongst the dead, risking life, limb and incarceration, I tread the illustrious path of the game-developing superstar-heroes who gifted us so many unforgettable 8 and 16-bit classic titles.

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Thursday, 6 August 2020

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And sometimes when we touch...

Gaming history is littered with the broken corpses of failed console/computer joysticks, joypads and other obscure peripherals. Triax's Turbo Touch 360 is a prime example. What seemed like an ingenious 'why has this never been tried before now?' concept, in retrospect, was a bungled misstep. Even now we're all using touchscreen smartphones and other digital devices, apparently, we prefer something that offers genuine haptic feedback when it comes to game controllers.

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Wednesday, 5 August 2020

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Cowaplunger duds!

Round the Bend is the sewer-situated, parody-packed kid's equivalent of the satirical, puppet-powered Spitting Image TV show, attracting sufficient viewing figures to warrant its own home micro computer game in 1991. As did its more adult-oriented analogue, adapted for off-beat bash 'em up fans by Domark. Round the Bend publishers, Impulze, were equally enamoured with Doc Croc, Jemimah Wellington-Green, Vaudeville Vince Vermin, Luchetti Bruchetti and co. So much so they released their accompanying game twice, under a different name on each occasion. Its budget release, published in 1993, was known as Doc Croc's Outrageous Adventures, which appropriately is itself tantamount to a double entendre.

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Things Ain't Working Out Down At The Farm

In the UK, playing computer games based on Italian comic book characters we'd never heard of wasn't a fantastically popular pastime. I'd hazard a guess the same would apply to every other non-Italian-speaking country in the world. All of which explains why when I mention 'Lupo Alberto' you'll likely furrow your brow with dumbfounded befuddlement, crab-stepping away into the shadows whistling nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact at all costs. But wait! Come back! It turns out that the game of the comic book is a solid little traditional platformer, draped in the sheen of seductively rudimentary cartoony visuals.

Premisely-speaking you shouldn't struggle to keep up; playing as the eponymous lupine protagonist (or Maria, his hen girlfriend), the objective is to find a comfortable spot in the landscape to... er... be intimate. Apparently, the rest of the wildlife featured doesn't approve of our inter-species relationship, making them the designated 'enemies'.

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The cure for the summertime zoos

CJ's Elephant Antics is Codemasters reasonably successful attempt to recreate the magic of Taito's arcade classic, New Zealand Story. OK, so it's somewhat trunkcated *pause for uncontrollable laughter*, yet wholesome, convivial fun regardless. We play as the acronymous, titular CJ who ain't gonna take it no more! He's fled captivity homeward bound for Africa, crossing continents, conquering climates and dispatching dissenters. Armed with a bomb or two and an infinite supply of peanuts, CJ has balanced on his last beach ball!

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Slam plonk the Flonk!

What was that funny game called we used to play at school where you'd kick a row of six furry, brown, Furby-like critters at an opponent? If you managed to boot all your 'Beloms' onto their side of the pitch so they were reluctantly in possession of all twelve simultaneously, you could then charge over into their territory and declare yourself victorious. I can't remember, nevermind. Anyway, it was much like Rainbow Arts' alternative sports computer game, Grand Monster Slam. Just like the playground version, we're pitted against an octopus, minotaur, duck, elf, troll and so on, and engage in intermittent bonus rounds to spice up the main event. During these, we must fend off downtrodden, indignant Beloms with a pugal stick, or launch them into the hungry mouths of podium-mounted 'Faultons'. What a bizarre coincidence!

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Meet Wildcat's big brother

"Blazing your way to glory" in Wings of Fury initially rests on one's ability to successfully lift off from an aircraft carrier situated in the Pacific Ocean. A tricky task that flummoxes many newcomers to such an extent that they give up at the first hurdle, never to fully appreciate the joys of the horizontally scrolling, arcade-strategy flight sim that captivated my inner Maverick as a child. As the pilot of an F6F Hellcat deeply entrenched in America's World War II campaign against the ferocious Imperial Japanese army, our pivotal contribution comprises mowing down exposed foot soldiers patrolling the beaches, eliminating bunkers, machine gun nests and barracks, torpedoing battleships into oblivion and engaging in high-altitude, spine-tingling dogfights.

If you struggled to get airborne from the outset, good luck touching down again to refuel, replenish ammunition supplies and carry out repairs! You'll soon discover that fighter planes are far less efficient resting on the seabed 50ft below the surface.

This article is also available as a video presentation on YouTube.

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reTHINK Pink

If you're rich, sleepwalk and reside in a mansion packed to the rafters with expensive ornaments, don't be surprised if you receive a visit from the Pink Panther, cat burglar extraordinaire. For it is his 'duty' to rob you blind whilst preoccupied roaming the extensive corridors of your home, obliviously unaware of the Panther of colour's crooked, clandestine scheme. Anyway, that's their problem. In Magic Bytes' puzzle-platformer we assume the role of the eponymous predator tasked with preventing our victims from awakening prior to pilfering their precious loot. In principle, it's a lot like Ocean's Sleepwalker, only with less virtuous objectives.

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The Vampire Strikes Back

Count Dracula is up to his old neck-chewing tricks again over in Transylvania (the Vampire's Empire) and only Doctor Van Helsing is qualified and equipped to banish him back to his box permanently. In Magic Bytes' horror-themed platformer we learn that to contain the deadly threat our doc saviour must target Dracula by reflecting magic light beams deep into the core of his soul via the precision positioning of mirrors. It wouldn't hurt to keep some gloves of garlic handy either.

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Tuesday, 4 August 2020

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Is cloning the future a pre-crime?

Dr A. Noid, perpetrator of the Great Biological Holocaust, remains on the loose in a post-apocalyptic world crawling with slime-oozing zombies high on 'SLU'. Naturally, as a totally coincidental Mad Max look-a-like bounty hunter, we're obliged to engage our ATV in obliterating all vehicular threats in our path whilst dodging mines and gun turrets. Because battering ram combat vehicles generally won't fit through pedestrian doorways, we must occasionally exit to explore buildings on foot with a view to euthanising anything that shambles or groans suspiciously.

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The Unreviewables

Some games are such pitiful non-entities that I'd struggle to find enough words to form what you could justifiably call a review. Here I explain why Dick Tracy for the Amiga falls into such a category, while writing far more on the subject than it deserves.

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hulkhoganwearsyellownickers

Ocean's first foray into sweaty, muscle-bound, square circle brawling wasn't canvas-quaking by any stretch of the imagination, yet when you experience it at the pinnacle of your childhood WWF Wrestlemania fixation, playing against an excitable flesh and blood opponent, it tends to make an impact extending far beyond its impartial merit. Embodying The Ultimate Warrior, stalking Sergeant Slaughter beyond the safeish confines of the ring brandishing a stainless steel chair will do that for you. Especially when previously you've only ever watched the action unfold on the family TV set with no control over the outcome. First wrestling game wow-factor aside, the graphics are colourful, well-drawn and instantly recognisable, whilst an utterly immersive intro sequence drops you right into a front-row seat, oversized foam hand at the ready!

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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - guilty feet have got no rhythm

Leading a second-rate cast of B movie imposters in Codemasters' hack 'n' slash platformer, Sword & The Rose (aka Prince Clumsy), we Loki horns with a deja vu-spiking gaggle of ghouls, ghosts and goblins. Can you guess from which famous duo of Capcom games it draws inspiration/nicks the design and artwork lock, stock and barrel?

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My samoflange is all out of whack

Beyond the Ice Palace is by and large an unremarkable Ghosts 'n' Goblins-esque platforming romp concerned with redressing the wonky balance between good and evil. What makes it worthy of deeper analysis is an intriguing origin story that belies its non-licensed status. More specifically, Beyond the Ice Palace was initially developed as an official accompaniment to the ThunderCats cartoon, later debranded when another game being produced in parallel was instead chosen to represent the popular '80s IP. A story originally discovered, exhumed and reported by Guru Larry Jnr. I simply rehashed it, interweaving a review of the ThunderCats game that wasn't.

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Xeroxmorphs in Dittoland - Indiana Groans and the Dead Ephalump Pilgrimage

One man's dream has become one man's destiny! But which man, Tusker or Indiana Jones? Either way, we're duty-bound to follow in our father's footsteps in search of the legendary elephant graveyard, sequestered somewhere deep within the undiscovered, inhospitable tropics of African. Will we unearth ivory beyond our wildest dreams or just the desiccated bones of Sean Connery?

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