Getting stoned with Skeletor

Skeletor, bony arch-nemesis of He-Man, embracing the omnipotent Ilearth Stone, has stormed Castle Greyskull, captured the Sorceress and now is busily assembling an army of clones to consummate his despicable scheme to become Lord of all Eternia. To thwart his lordliness, He-Man must first free Orko from necromantic imprisonment, enabling him to conjure a spell that will transform the prince's Sword of Power into the notorious, almighty Atom Smasher. Demolish the Ilearth Stone and Skeletor is as vulnerable as a gift-wrapped stack of bones wandering through a hound pound.

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The greatest trick Bond ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist

Operation Stealth is a Delphine-devised 'Cinematique' point and click adventure game starring James Bond, or not, depending on where in the world you bought your copy. Either way, it's the same beautifully assembled package driven by a secret mission as Bondian as any celluloid excursion into 007ness, littered with witty allusions to MI6 superspy tropes.

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Win the trip of a lifetime to the Land of the Aztecs, Mexico

Former special forces commander, Bret Conrad - Gold of the Aztecs' starring protagonist - is, in essence, Indiana Jones without the official license. One day he serendipitously (?) stumbles across an ancient map to a stash of gold buried deep within the lost city of Quetzacotl. Just a thousand or so little snags stand in the way of recovering this priceless treasure/jetting off into the sunset to live a life of luxury and self-indulgence - all those Temple of Doom-inspired, bone-crunching traps!

Proof of game completion was to be rewarded with an all-expenses-paid holiday courtesy of US Gold, which likely explains why Gold of the Aztec's trademark is an insanely preposterous difficultly curve. I finally beat it following several hours of face-palming/hair-pulling and only then by cheating every save state step of the way. You'll find longplay evidence as well as a video presentation of this article on my YouTube channel.


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Fuggedaboutit... US Gold's Godfather game for the Amiga that is

You don't ask for Godfather the computer game; it's surreptitiously slipped onto your fluffy white pillow while you slumber like a baby. Based on the entire franchise, Creative Materials' licensed accompaniment is bulging with guns, violence and unrelenting bloodshed. All executed in the best possible taste of course - it's in the interests of The Family after all.

Published in 1991 by US Gold to coincide with the third movie, we walk in the designer shoes of an anonymous member of the mafia, impelled to ascend the ranks of the vicious, revered organisation. Levels are divided into arcade-platforming affairs and first-person target-shooting galleries, all meticulously illustrated in pixel art commemoration of the must-see movies.

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This isn't it

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker experimental musical anthology movie relays the everyday tale of how an ordinary pop superstar turns into a robot-spaceship to defeat a drug-peddling underworld kingpin played by Joe Pesci. It constitutes a medley of musical montages revolving around some of Michael's major hits, leading into a longer narrative piece in which the plastic King of Pop defies insurmountable odds to steer the next generation away of plunging to the depths of drug-addled depravity.

Commissioned by US Gold, Irish game developers, Emerald Software, were tasked with adapting the unorthodox sci-fi extravaganza to home computer systems. Honing in on the Speed Demon and Smooth Criminal sequences, it features a variety of arcade-action mini-games revolving around destroying drug packages, outrunning paparazzi and deranged fans and ultimately trouncing Mr Big, avenging his crimes against humanity.

I explore how successfully Emerald managed to capture the magic of Michael's surreal, ego-plumping homage to himself.

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